The Dearth of Godly Women Mentors (The Titus 2 Women, Where Are They?!?!?)

There is a dearth of godly women mentors in the Philippines today. 

There is a dearth of godly women mentors in the whole world, period. :(

Day in and day out, we are inundated with worldly advice that promotes women "empowerment", raising "self-esteem", of seizing all of life's opportunities, and making the world one's "oyster". There is nothing inherently wrong or evil in any of those, I aver. It is wonderful to feel good about oneself and to achieve some level of success in this world. We were created to somehow make a difference in this planet, after all. 

But, when the "be-all and end-all" of existence is just to please 
ME, MYSELF and I, then that is where the problem lies.

We really never find ourselves and our true life purposes in our families, in our careers, in our churches, or in our very own selves; no matter what the world says. 

We are only able to find our true purpose when we know God and who we are, in connection to God. Then, we find more meaning in our lives by giving of ourselves fully in our relationships and affiliations.

- We know God; we get to know who we are. (We are sinners, in need of His Mercy.)

- We know God; we get to know why we are here. (To seek Him, serve Him, love Him.)

- We know God; we get to know where we are headed. (Eternal Life in Heaven)

It does not work like this:

- I land the job of my dreams, I find my "calling".

- I meet the man of my dreams, I find my "reason for being".

- I live in the country of my dreams, I find my "paradise".

That is foolish. :(

- Apart from God, and our relation to Him, we really do not "find ourselves".

- Apart from God and our relation to Him, we really cannot "find our purpose."

- Apart from God and our relation to Him, we will NEVER "find meaning in life."

It is with this thought process in mind that I go about with this post. 

I only found peace and joy in this season of my life, AFTER I found God, and let Him take control of all aspects in my life.

I found my authentic self, AFTER I got to know the Lord as Who He was/is, not What I thought He was/is, through the Bible.

I found my purpose/s in life AFTER I submitted unto the Lord.

 I found my purpose as a person, wife and mother AFTER I submitted to my husband, as unto the Lord.

* * * * *

As a married woman with four young children, all under the age of ten, I wish I had known earlier what was really expected of me once I got married. :(

Whitney Houston in Cosmo

My "marriage peg" was not exactly godly nor biblical. It was something straight out of a Cosmo Magazine as a "Fun and Fearless Female", I guess. I was "taught" and raised to be extremely ambitious, career-driven, and self-reliant. I did not know that marriage was a partnership and that each spouse had God-given roles. I thought all along that it was "to each his own"; "You do your own thing, I do mine, then let's meet at the end of the day and exchange points." Well, that kind of mindset nearly destroyed my marriage. :(

I am glad the Lord convicted me of my sins and so, in September 1, 2013, I was "born again." (I am a Catholic Christian, by the way, and still am.:) I repented for my sins and surrendered my all to God. That same day too, I decided to submit unto my husband, Dong, and "kill" my controlling, domineering, self-righteous self.
Good riddance, really!

Two short weeks after submitting to Dong, I "chanced" upon April Cassidy's blog, The Peaceful Wife. That's a "divine appointment", right there! This further reinforced for me, that I was on the right track in my respect and Biblical submission journey. Since then, April has been a good friend and my Titus 2 mentor too, in this narrow path that we tread, along with other Peaceful wives, all over the world.

Why do we need a mentor?

Because we should not trust ourselves.

Proverbs 28:26

26 

"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool,

    but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."

We would need somebody that we can be accountable to, or who could correct us or even rebuke us, if necessary. Of course, it goes without saying that no mentor is infallible. Only God's Word is without error, and only God can really correct and straighten our paths, but it helps to have a godly human mentor too, walking with us in this journey.

I am 38 years, 129 days, 8 hours, 35 minutes, and 10 seconds old; as of the beginning of this post. For those reading this who are younger than me, this may prove to be an enlightening post. I am appointing myself as your Titus 2 "aged woman" mentor. :) (Note: I love being older!)

This is the reason I started this blog too, after my husband suggested I write a similar blog to April's, meant specifically for Filipinas all over the world (God's Word is for all races and nations though, and so everyone is welcome to read this.:) ). I wanted to mentor wives who were younger than me, so that they can learn from my mistakes and sins, and either not tread my wrong paths or encourage them to straighten theirs.

This is the Bible verse I follow:

Titus 2:3-5

“The  aged women likewise, that they be in behavior  as becometh holiness,  not  false  accusers,  not  given  to  much wine,  teachers  of  good  things;  

That  they  may teach  the young women  to  be sober,  to  love  their husbands,  to  love  their  children,  To  be  discreet,  chaste,  keepers at  home,  good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” 

For those wives older than me by a few or many years, this post may be taken from the point of view of a young woman who has some "wisdom" to share, through no merits of her own, but by God's Grace alone.

I share with you a Bible verse from the Book of Job, when Elihu, a much younger man, felt compelled to speak the Word of God, despite being young in stature, among elders:

Job 32:6-10

6 So Elihu son of Barakel the Buzite said:

“I am young in years,

    and you are old;

that is why I was fearful,

    not daring to tell you what I know.

7 

I thought, ‘Age should speak;

    advanced years should teach wisdom.’

8 

But it is the spirit[b] in a person,

    the breath of the Almighty, that gives them understanding.

9 

It is not only the old who are wise,

    not only the aged who understand what is right.

10 “Therefore I say: Listen to me;    I too will tell you what I know.

_________________________________________________________________

What should we teach the younger ones then, before they get married or while being married? What should our own mothers, aunts, grandmothers or women elders have shared with us, before we got married?

To do these 8 things below, in order for God's Word 
to not be reviled or blasphemed:

1. to be sober
2. to  love our husbands
3. to  love our  children
4. to  be discreet/self-controlled
5. to be chaste/pure
6. to be keepers/to be busy/to be working ... at home
7. to be good
8. to be obedient to our own husbands

We do these 8 THINGS though, only after this important Bible verse: 

Ephesians 5:22-33

22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

The order would be something like this:

1. God the Father (Who is Sovereign over all)
2. Jesus Christ (Who submitted to the Father)
3. Husband (Who submits to Christ)
4. Wife (Who submits to Christ first, then, to her husband)

Ultimately, both the husband and wife, 
submit FIRST to Jesus.

We do not immediately submit to our husbands, without first having submitted to God. Doing so, would be nothing short of idolatry! We do not just follow everything our husbands tell us to do, without having the right attitude and correct frame of mind and heart. We Biblically submit to our God-ordained authorities, our spouses, because we are following Christ's commandment for us to do so. We do not do all of the 8 things first, then conveniently put Christ in the picture after, when things are "not going well" in our marriage.

It is GOD first.

Our husbands come only a (not so near) second.

We submit to GOD first.

Then, we submit to our husbands, as unto the Lord.

If they become more loving husbands because of our submission, praise God!

If they continue to be detached and not so loving, in spite of our submission, praise God still!

Ultimately, no matter what the outcome, we do Biblical submission for Christ. Our eyes are set on God. We focus on our side of the equation and on our own God-given role as help meets, and we leave it to God to convict or transform our husbands' hearts. 

Focusing on the 8 THINGS alone will not make us have joy and peace. We can seem "perfect" and be all of those in our eyes and even in other people's eyes, but without Jesus, all those will still not be enough to experience true peace and joy. Those may even "enchain" us instead of "free" us. They can easily make us "legalistic", doing everything to the letter but not being transformed by God's Spirit, which makes all those "good actions" still seem empty.

Nothing and no one can occupy that God-filled void in our hearts except God Himself.

So what do we have to do then?

We do the 8 Titus THINGS the godly way:

1. To be sober (We do our best to moderate all our behavior, including not being addicted to wine or alcohol/spirits, and instead fill ourselves up with the Spirit as we read God's Word.)  
2. To  love our husbands (We love our imperfect husbands with the love of the Lord.)
3. To  love our  children (We love our very energetic and oftentimes naughty children, with the love of the Lord.)
4. To  be discreet/self-controlled (We ask God to take control of our lives, while we do our best to practice self-control on our sinful thoughts and behavior.)
5. To be chaste/pure (We do our best to hold every thought captive for Christ the moment a temptation crops up, so as not to sin.)
6. To be keepers/to be busy/to be working ... at home (We embrace our God-ordained roles within the home with much peace and joy, accepting it as God's Will for us that to take care of our families is our utmost priority, even to the point of having to give up a very busy career, if it goes against that priority.)
7. To be good (We try to be "perfect" as our heavenly Father is perfect, knowing all good comes from God, and all we have to show for is our sins.)
8. To be obedient to our own husbands (We respect and obey our God-ordained authorities not because they are always right or  perfect, but because we know that God will manifest His Will for us by directing us and our paths, through our errant husbands. The only time we can choose NOT to obey our husbands is when they are leading us to sin against God Himself. Then, we have to choose to obey God, and not Man, but we still do so respectfully. Acts 5:29)

Ultimately, we do all the 8 THINGS for the Lord, in order that His Word will not be maligned nor blasphemed.

Because, dear sisters, no matter how "spiritual" or "holy" or "religious" or "learned" about God we may be, if our home is in chaos, and we are disrespectful and unsubmissive to our husbands (like I was before!), we give God a really BAD REP. :( 

Good thing if it is only us whom we may put in a bad light, but if it is God's Word we are maligning, yikes! We are walking FALSE ADVERTISEMENTS. We are doing God a disservice!  They see us and our "good works", but they DON'T see God. :(

Who is mentoring you, dear sister? 

Is it your mother, your close friend, your neighbor? Is it Oprah or Dr. Phil?!? (Note: I loved Oprah growing up. I still do.  But I do not anymore consider her words as gospel truth.;) Maybe it is time to reassess just how their pieces of advice are molding you to become the person, wife, or mother that you are now. Is it making your marriage better or making it break apart? Is their advice worldly or is what they say, based on God's Word? 

Do you believe in Oprah's quote?
How about Matthew 16:26's "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?
Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" Which one is more true for you?

If we profess ourselves to be Christians, we have to follow Christ and His Word. Not some new age guru. Not some popular TV talk show host. 
And definitely, not some blogger like me!!! 

Ultimately, it is between you and God. People like me or my own mentor, April, share what we've learned in blog sites such as these, so that we can help you realize that you are not alone. That we hear you. That we know where you are coming from. But that's just about it. 

What I would like to do though is to POINT YOU TO CHRIST. You have no need for me!!! You can forget about me the moment you finish this post! Don't worry, I won't feel insulted or offended one bit. :) You have no need for my counsel or "wisdom".   All you need is Jesus and His Wisdom. But, if posts such as these, allow you to waken up that hidden longing for God, then, this little ministry of mine, would not have been in vain. Praise God for that! :)

As always, though, my prayer is that: 
I decrease in order for God to increase. 
All errors, mistakes, imperfections are mine. 
All Wisdom, Knowledge, Inspiration are God's.

Sirach 10:26

"Do not feel proud when you have only accomplished your work."

Luke 17:10

So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.'"

Are you in need of a Titus 2 elder, dear sister? Look for one now. It is lovely to have someone to mentor you in this seemingly archaic path.

If you are already a godly older woman who could mentor and share so much wisdom with the younger ones, do so now, dear sister in Christ. Do not hold it in! The world needs more of YOU! :)

May we all be richly blessed! :)