Are You the One Wearing the Pants in the Marriage?!?

I used to LOVE wearing pants both figuratively and literally.
I have since traded them for skirts, figuratively and literally. :)

I don't know about you, but I am SUPER girly! :)

I love being feminine.

I love looking feminine.

I thank God for making me a woman! :)

But, before the Lord convicted me of my sins of pride and rebellion,

I was the one wearing the pants in the relationship, or at least
I insisted on wearing the pants! 

(Dong still had his pants on though, but I was pulling them off of him all the time during my most controlling years. I am talking figuratively, by the way!!!)

2011

Suffice to say, I felt SO masculated.

I felt SO manly.

I felt SO unfeminine.

And I hated it. :(

I was SO miserable. :(

I was a WOMAN, betcha by golly wow.

Well.. a worldly woman, that was.

And I had no desire to be the man in the marriage.

2008

* * * * * * *

BUT...

I was so headstrong, driven, ambitious, and take-charge before the Lord changed me.

Not exactly bad character traits, except when one happened to be the wife in a marriage.

THEN...

That's when those positive character traits which figured so well and were actually assets in the workplace, became negative or created GREAT FRICTION in the homefront.

My newscaster look. I was
extremely career-oriented. - 2011

How was I to know that I was supposed to use that side of my personality only at the office and eat humble pie and take on a submissive and respectful attitude once I stepped within the premises of our home?!? I never saw that in my parents' home. I never saw it in anybody else's home.

In fact, I grew up in a very matriarchal clan where the women ruled! 

Biblical submission was an alien concept to me! (as I believe it is an alien concept to sooooo many too!)

* * * * * * *

Dong and I were (and still are) the bestest of friends.

2009

I've always enjoyed his company and he's always enjoyed mine.

Except when I was in one of my deep, dark moods in the past, which usually went on for weeks.

 During those days, all I would be thinking about was:

- how lucky he was to have me

- how unlucky I was to have him

- how hardworking I was

- how unmotivated he was

- how unappreciated I was

- etc. etc.

I was prone to focusing on my husband's sins and
faults while overlooking and glossing over mine. :(
2011

In short, I went on a pity party for days. I cherished my feelings of bitterness and resentment against him. During those days, I would just pout and sob in one corner and I would not allow him to touch me. He would look confused, forlorn and helpless. I used to LOVE it when he'd appear concerned towards me after I'd acted hurt for days. It showed that he cared about me, and that he'd better do something about the situation because I was affected, I was not happy, and I was not pleased with him or his behavior!!!

Everything revolved around ME.

I felt that he deserved my ill treatment.

I felt that my ill feelings were justified.

Well, that was what I felt.

But that was not what the Lord saw.

He saw right through my unforgiving heart, 

and it was full of sins. :(

 1 Samuel 16:7

"Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Matthew 15:19

For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.

I sure had a LOT of evil (prideful, self-righteous, judgmental...) thoughts, alright! I even had ridiculously arrogant thoughts of: "If he cannot provide for me, then I would provide for the family! I could do that much better than him! I "pray" that I don't die earlier, because he cannot support our children! Lord, you better make him die earlier than me!!! The family needs ME!"

Yikes. :(

I am a very girly type of woman, but "wore the pants" during my most
controlling years. - 2012

It made me cringe now just writing about it. But, dear sister, this is why I blog in the first place. This is why I spend so much time writing for an unknown audience in the worldwide web. This is why I accepted the Lord's prodding of writing about what it is to have a godly marriage...  Not to make you think that we have the "perfect marriage" or to brag about my so-called "perfect life"! I certainly do not have claims to both! I am writing in order to "boast" about my faults, in the hope that you may see yourselves in me, be convicted by the Holy Spirit, repent to God, and start a new life in Christ; and thus experience TRUE FREEDOM! If it happened to super prideful, controlling, crazy ME; it can happen to you too! :)

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I love my godly womanly role! I love wearing
skirts, literally and figuratively! :) - Feb 2014

My husband is a kind and loving man. He is self-employed and he provides for our basic needs. He is selfless and would not mind not buying himself anything, just so the kids and I are happy. He is very helpful, considerate and has no qualms in serving me! Imagine that! He served me, even during that time when I was bitter and prideful and a pain in the @ss to live with! He loved me unconditionally when I disrespected him blatantly. I was thinking back then of "how lucky he was to have me", when all along, it was I who was lucky to be married to him! Yes, he was not perfect, but neither was I! But, in my eyes, it was all HIS fault! I was so spiritually blind!!! :(

It was only when God opened up my spiritual eyes, in September 1, 2013, that I saw through my sinful and pretentious heart, and appreciated Dong for good. It was then that I decided to let go, let God and gave up on wearing the pants. It really did not fit me. It looked bad on me! Dong wore them far better than I ever could! (We are still talking figuratively here, just to be clear! :)

Dear sister, are YOU wearing the pants in the relationship? 

Or, are you unaware if indeed you are?

(Note: Things may vary from household to household. These are just some signs that you are already starting to look like or are already "the man of the house".)

Here are some signs that you are the pants (and belt and buckle!) wearer in your marriage:

I acted like the "star" of the household
and always "stole" my
husband's pants from him,
when I was still so spiritually blind
to my mountains of sins!!!! - 2012

1. You get to have the first and last say in all family matters.

2. You are the sole/primary provider for the family. 

3. You are the one protecting your husband/children from trials, hardships and problems.

4. You are the one who gets to decide with finality on what the family will do, where the family will live, etc. Connected to number 1.

5. You are the one handling and holding on to the family's finances. 

6. You are the one disciplining the children. Kids are more "scared" of you than they are of Daddy.

7. You dictate to your husband what line of work he should go into, what he can or cannot do, what he can or cannot say, what he can or cannot be.

________________________________________________________________________________

Here are some Bible verses in a nutshell, compiled by a godly and older mentor, Mrs. Lori Alexander of Always Learning, which talks about our roles as biblical women:

Gen. 3:16...and he shall rule over thee. 
I Cor. 11:3...the head of the woman is the man 
Eph. 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 
Eph. 5:24...so let the wives be {subject} to their own husbands in every thing. 
Eph. 5:33..Let the wife see that she reverence her husband. 
Col. 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands.. 
I Tim. 2:11,12..I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man 
Titus 3:4,5 teach young women...to be obedient to their own husbands 
I Peter 3:1...be in subjection to your own husbands... 
I Peter 3:5,6 ...being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. 

I love being with my man! - October 2013, newly submitted

I don't know about you, but it's no fun being the "man of the house".

The Lord made me a woman.
I want to be a woman.
I want to act like a woman.

And usurping my husband's roles as provider, protector and leader in the past, made me a man. Eeek. :(

Being the "man" of the household emasculates your man. You want him to "man up"? Stop doing his roles. Stop being the "man" of the house.
Start acting like a woman - a gentle, quiet and godly woman.
It may take time (looooots of time) for him to start acting like the man that he is and should be, but unless you are willing to allow him to be the man of the house without your interference, he may never be able to step up the plate. He many never get the chance to man up.

Try letting go and letting God, dear sister in Christ.

Try Jesus.

Biblically submissive and trying Jesus' Ways! March 2014

Try following His Commandments to us wives, and see your marriage bloom from bad to good, or from good to best. His Ways are not our ways, and His Thoughts are not our thoughts (Isa 55:8). If you have tried everything the world has to offer and are still are coming up short, why not try God's Design for Marriage, where the husband is the head of his wife and the wife is subjected to her husband?

Believe me you, it's freeing! It's liberating! I have not felt this womanly nor this feminine ever. I have not felt this peaceful ever. I have not seen my husband this manly or this respectable ever. Truly, God knew what He was doing when He created Man and Woman!!! :)

ARE YOU THE ONE WEARING THE PANTS IN THE RELATIONSHIP?

Stop wearing the pants, sister! Hand those jeans/slacks/maong pants over to your husband and start wearing skirts. (I am talking figuratively again, by the way, although I always wear skirts and very rarely wear pants literally, nowadays.) 

 With the pudding I baked. :) - July 2014

1 Peter 3:7 

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

YOU ARE A WOMAN, THE WEAKER VESSEL. 
(This is not an insult by the way. God knew what He was doing when He designed you. 
You are in need of Man's protection. God cares for you that way.)

EMBRACE YOUR GODLY FEMININITY.

IT'S GOD'S GIFT TO YOU AND TO YOUR MAN.

Dong, my husband: "YOU'RE THE MAN!" ;) 
- 2014

May we all be richly blessed. :)

When A Wife Treats Her Husband As Her Child

With our first child, Therese, and just a year or so married -  2005

I call Dong, "Daddy",  "Honey", and "Lovey".

He calls me "Baby", "Honey" and "Beauty" or "Sexy" (Yee-ha!) , but never "Mommy".
To him, "Mommy" is his mother, Wowa Letty.

Wowa Letty, Dong's very kind mother

Some couples call each other "Daddy" and "Mommy", and there is nothing wrong with that. It's a lovely term of endearment to one's spouse as the co-parent of their God-given children.

It becomes a problem though when by calling the wife as "Mommy", the wife becomes and acts like the husband's own mother!!! 

That's a line that should NEVER be crossed, if one is to follow God's commandment between married couples and if one is to have a godly and biblical marriage!

I have heard of wives calling their hubbies along with their sons as "my boys", or "my babies", or something to that effect. While I think it is quite sweet to be nurturing towards one's husband, a wife has to be VERY wary not to treat her husband as one of her sons. 

Reuben, 2nd son

Andre, 1st son

Doing so would cross over from being just caring to mothering to smothering, if not held in check! There is nothing more 'UNSEXY' than treating your husband as your child!

Treating your husband as your son (whether the eldest or the youngest or somewhere in between) is actually                 VERY DISRESPECTFUL!!!

Remember it is written in the Bible that:

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Titus 2:4-5

so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Men are the HEADS of their wives and wives are to be subject to their husbands. 

* * * 

Parents are the HEADS over their children.

Ephesians 6:1-3

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.

Colossians 3:20

Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is

well-pleasing to the Lord.

January 17, 2014

I wrote a post on how to still honor our parents while already being subject to one's husband, once married, here.

For this particular blog post though, what the Lord led me to write was about exercising seeming 'parental authority' over one's husband, which goes clearly against Scripture and creates disorder and abnormality within the marriage.

The Bible points out that ALL authority comes from God.

Romans 13

New Living Translation (NLT)

                                                          Respect for Authority

13 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. 2 So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished.

April 17, 2004

In marriage, our husbands are our God-ordained authorities.

Here’s the bible verse from 1 Peter 3:1-6 from the New Living Translation:

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives.

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.

* * *

When a wife acts like her husband's mother, she is guilty of mixing up her God-ordained role as parent to her children (over whom she has every right to correct and direct), and mis-using that parental authority over her husband, over whom, she has NO AUTHORITY correcting, leading or directing, given her God-ordained submissive role as helper or supporter, in the marriage.

Yes, it is important to point out once or twice (in a respectful manner, of course) when one's husband is errant or is sinning, but NO, it is not okay to continue to correct and direct him every day, as though one's husband had no mind of his own or was inutile, and needed his wife's correction, mentorship, and direction, at all times.

It not only maligns God's Word (Titus 2:5), but it also muddles up God's design for marriage and authority. Wives have NO AUTHORITY over their husbands! That's a spiritual coup d' etat!

This was Therese as a baby :) - 2005

Here's an excerpt from a sister in Christ's blog, Kayla of www.lessonsofmercy.wordpress.com, where she talks about in her post, "Are You Just, Um, Well…..Better Than Him?" , how wives act as though they were the "Holy Spirit" towards their husbands, convicting them of their sins and trying to make them change (as though that's humanely possible!!!), in effect, letting their sin of PRIDE get the better of them, thinking themselves to be better than their men. For her full post on this topic, please click here. 

3.) We turn our husband into a child.

Instead of seeing ourselves as a team with our husbands to work together to grow in Christ, we eventually look down on our husbands long enough for their sins and their “too slow at repentance” behavior and start seeing them as children or chore instead of a best friend and lover.

And worst of all, we have found this so humorous. How many comedians, websites, Facebook statuses, and Pinterest pins are being shared and quoted with remarks like

“I don’t have three children, I am married to the fourth.”

“Men are babies who stop having a mom and get a wife instead.”

“I thought I was done raising children but apparently my husband will never grow up.”

This one is so NOT  a baby. I am his "baby". ;) - 2006

______________________________________________________________________________

I hear this often, even among people close to me, and I used to laugh about it but ever since the Lord changed me and convicted me, I could now only muster a fake smile.

It's just NOT FUNNY anymore.:( 

It's actually quite SAD and PATHETIC. :( 

The moment a wife already thinks she has earned a "son" from having a husband, is the moment ALL RESPECT has flown out the window.

While we respect our children and their rights, we do not submit to them; they submit to us. We are still their moral authorities. The moment a child always gets her way and the parents submit to his/her every whim and caprice, is the moment that child had become the HEAD of the home, and it won't be surprising if that child grows up to be spoiled with misplaced feelings of entitlement -- an ungodly setup which will surely lead to ungodly results.

A wife may act respectful towards her husband without really RESPECTING him. If the wife really respected her husband, she would not take from him the reins in the marriage; she would not dictate to him what to do and where their life should lead them; she would not act as though she was morally superior to him and "tolerant" of his mistakes all the while waiting for him to"get his act together" like a clumsy/naughty/hard-headed child.

A godly wife would RESPECT her husband by first of all biblically submitting to him, and by also:

- not leading the family

- not second-guessing her husband's decisions

- not being critical of her husband

- not being judgmental towards her husband

- not "stealing" the provider role from her husband/ being too self-reliant

- not being overprotective towards her husband

- not deciding for her husband

- not ruling over her husband, and surely...
- ... not joking about her husband being 'one of her children' to others!

In my Bible reading this morning, something struck out for me, from the Book of Sirach (part of the Deuterocanonicals in Catholic Bibles) that further led me into writing about this post today. While Ben of Sira/Ecclesiasticus lived in the days of old and his teachings rants could be viewed by some, as patriarchal at best, and misogynistic at worst; much wisdom can still be gleaned from them:

Sirach 25 

13 Any wound rather than a wound of the heart! Any spite rather than the spite of woman!
16 I would sooner keep house with a lion or a dragon than keep house with a spiteful wife.
17 A woman's spite changes her appearance and makes her face as grim as a bear's.
18 When her husband goes out to dinner with his neighbours, he cannot help heaving bitter sighs.
19 No spite can approach the spite of a woman, may a sinner's lot be hers!
20 Like the climbing of a sandhill for elderly feet, such is a garrulous wife for a quiet husband.
21 Do not be taken in by a woman's beauty, never lose your head over a woman.
22 Bad temper, insolence and shame hold sway where the wife supports the husband.

23 Low spirits, gloomy face, stricken heart: such is a spiteful wife. Slack hands and sagging knees: such is the wife who does not make her husband happy.

25 Do not let water find a leak, nor a spiteful woman give free rein to her tongue.

May 2014

Two verses struck me here.

Verse 22 where it says that when the spiteful or "wicked" wife SUPPORTS (directs, leads, rules, babies, mothers, provides for) the husband, there is much anger, reproach, and PLENTY of SHAME.

Verse 23 where it says that a dejected spirit, a sad face, unseen wounds, idle hands (lack of desire to provide or to work) and unsteady knees (physical ailments) are found, when a wife brings her husband NO HAPPINESS.

While I would like to point out that it takes two to tango, and it would be HARSHLY UNFAIR to blame it ALL on the wife, if one has a husband who is exhibiting these kinds of pitiful behavior and physical and/or mental ailments, it would be wise and humble to ask oneself:

 "Am I contributory to this?"

April 17, 2014 - 10th wedding anniversary

Before writing this article, I asked Dong if he would find it disrespectful if I started "babying" him. He said, "I would not mind being helped or served, such as with preparation of meals or whatever, but when you start treating me like a child who has to be taught what to do, how to act, how to behave, what to think... then, that is REALLY DISRESPECTFUL."

 He also said something wise that should make us wives  go into deep introspection:

20 lbs ago and just bf-gf :) - 1997

I am glad the Lord opened up my
spiritual eyes. Otherwise, there would
         be NOTHING to be joyful about. - Aug 2013

"Women should think of who and what their husbands were before they got married to them. Were their boyfriends happy, energetic, with some spunk in their walks and postures, healthy, etc...? Then, compare that to now. Are the men unhappy, depressed, walking and moving as though hopeless, having so many sicknesses... after they got married to their wives? Maybe the wife has done something to make him that kind of pathetic man. Maybe he is who and what he is now, thanks, but no thanks, to his wife! Just think about it...."

I am thinking about it! Good food for thought, huh? :)

Here's hoping and praying that the next time a wife thinks "babying" her husband to the max is love, may she also be aware that though this is sweet (for a relatively short period of time --short as in, on rare/few occasions, not as a way of life), she should STOP this emasculating gesture because husbands were designed by God to be the one doing the "babying", not the other way around.

(Note: In no way am I saying that wives should be treated as children nor that they should act like children, with tantrums and childishness and all! "Babying" in this post means taking good care of their wives, the way husbands could and should, just as God had commanded for them to do.)

Husbands were designed to be OUR protectors, not the other way around. 

Husbands were NOT designed to be our babies. They were designed to help us make babies. Hehe. 

And, think of it this way: Would you want to "train" your husband to be a wimpy scaredy-cat, who cannot defend and fend for himself, and who is dependent on you for EVERYTHING?!?  

What a turn-off, right?!? 

A man acting like a baby is NOT how God designed our husbands to act!
                           Photo Credits: Captura

That's clearly a man asking to be DISRESPECTED, if one ever came across such a man!!!! 

1 Peter 3:7 

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

These are OUR babies. :) - April 2013

May we all be richly blessed! :)

Peaceful Wife = Stepford Wife?

"The Stepford Wives" - 2004

The Stepford Wives is a 1972 satirical thriller novel by Ira Levin. The story concerns Joanna Eberhart, a photographer and and young mother who begins to suspect that the frighteningly submissive housewives in her new idyllic Connecticut neighborhood may be robots created by their husbands.

First Film - 1975

Two films of the same name have been adapted from the novel; the first starred Katharine Ross and was released in 1975, while a remake starring Nicole Kidman appeared in 2004. 

Remake -2004

The term "Stepford wife", which is often used in popular culture, stemmed from the novel, and is usually a reference to a submissive and docile housewife. 

Interestingly, the movie in 1975 was categorized as part of the modern-day horror film genre, along with movies like STAR WARS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, THE BLACK HOLE and THE TOWERING INFERNO.

SUBMISSIVE.

That word again.


A beautiful and Biblical word hijacked now by the enemy. Even I still choke on the word every now and then when I talk about this season in my life. 

Try Googling the word, submissive, and you will get nothing Christian or wholesome, and everything worldly and lewd.As in BDSM lewd. BDSM by the way, stands for Bondage & Discpline and Sadism & Masochism. Whoa, right? Heavy sinful stuff.



That word crops up too when people talk about Stepford wives. As in:

"Ah, she has gone submissive? She listens to and respects her husband?! Oh, she's become a Stepford wife! How horrible!!!"
                                                   
                                              OR

"She used to be so career-oriented. Now she is JUST a stay-at-home mom and a submissive wife. She is a Stepford wife! What a waste!!!"





Are peaceful wives and Stepford wives one and the same?

First, let us define the terms by describing both:

A PEACEFUL WIFE is:

1. Submissive to the Lord and to her husband
2. Modest in dress and behavior
3. Gentle and kind
4. Supportive and helpful to her husband and loving towards her children
5. Good with House work or anything to do with taking care of the home
6. Joyful and Peaceful
7. Loves God above all




A STEPFORD WIFE ,at least from the movie's definition is:

1. A docile, mindless, submissive person who never questions authority
2. Dresses beautifully and looks perfect all the time.
3. Gentle and kind and has perfect manners.
4. Supportive and helpful to her husband at all times. She adores her husband and attends to her children.
5. Very good with house work. Her home is always spotless and immaculate!
6. Happy and Positive all the time!


From the outset, they seem to be one and the same.

Even how the main protagonist's transition from driven career woman to domesticated wife and mother, in the second movie starring Nicole Kidman sounds familiar...

Taken fromWikipedia , here is an excerpt:

"...Joanna argues with Walter about the incident with Sarah until Walter loses his temper and yells at her.

He tells her that her children barely know her, that their marriage is falling apart, and that she's so domineering, people want to kill her. Realizing how unhappy she is, Joanna apologizes and agrees to try and fit in with the other wives. The next day, she cleans the house and tries wearing more makeup...

Soon after, Joanna learns the secrets of this weird town and freaks out!

"Terrified, Joanna tells Walter that she wants to move. Walter apologizes, saying that if she's so miserable, they can leave tomorrow. She thanks him. That night, she is awakened by their robotic dog bringing her a bone.

She is horrified to find that it's actually a remote control, like Sarah's but labeled JOANNA. She goes online to research the women of Stepford and learns that the women used to be scientists, engineers and judges. The next morning she runs to see Bobbie, only to find that she, too, has become fawning and stupid. Joanna realizes that Bobbie isn't human anymore when Bobbie fails to react to the open flame of a lit stove.

Joanna tries to flee but finds that her children have been taken hostage by the men.

 She storms into the Men's Club demanding that the men return her children, but the men, who have been lying in wait for her, capture her.

 
The men explain that when their wives were scientists and engineers, their wives reduced them to low-level support roles. Enraged, the men implanted microchips into their wives' brains and then transplanted their minds into cloned bodies, which became the men's patient, subservient and impossibly beautiful robot mistresses."

Robot Mistresses = Stepford Wives

There lies the difference between the PEACEFUL WIFE vs the STEPFORD WIFE.

FREE WILL. That... and GOD.

That makes a whole world of difference.

The Stepford wives did not, by their own volition, choose the path of submission...

The Stepford wives, did not decide to let go of their desire to control their husbands in order to attain true peace and freedom...

The Stepford wives, did not have it in them to choose this seemingly archaic and outdated Biblical concept in order to honor God by empowering their husbands' leadership through submission, because...

They were ROBOTS! Microchips were put in the domineering human wives' brains, and then transplanted into cloned bodies, in order to attain the husbands' impossibly beautiful and subservient wives -- "mistresses" who did not make them feel so disrespected!

They were TOO PERFECT in the worldly sense of the word. Too beautiful. Too good-natured. Too efficient in the home. Too FAKE.

Peaceful wives are not like that.

Peaceful wives are :

• sinful but they choose to die to themselves every single day, and in so doing, find their most authentic self  (Gal 2:20)
• imperfect although they all strive to be "perfect", just as the Heavenly Father is  perfect ((Matt. 5:48) but not as the world defines it. They will be made perfect when their love is already complete like God's Love -- loving even their enemies (or their perceived errant husbands!) as is expected from God's children.
• beautiful not because of outside adornment but because of  gentle and quiet spirits that please God (1 Peter 3:3-4)
• busy at home, efficient in their jobs/businesses, and do not eat "the bread of idleness" (Proverbs 31:10-31)
• a joy to be with and their husbands consider themselves blessed (Proverbs 16:22)
• Biblically submissive, in that though they can very well take charge, they choose to let go of their pride and desires of control, in order to allow their husbands to lead them, having full faith in God that through these imperfect human beings, God will lead them and their families to what is BEST for all of them. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
• fearful of God (Proverbs 14:27)

August 2013, with Therese (1st)  and Isabelle (4th)

My conclusion is: I think from the outside, Peaceful Wives could be mistaken for Stepford Wives, for the simple reason that both are "submissive". But from the inside, where motivations matter most to God, that's where you will find that they are not the same at all...

1 Samuel 16:7 part --

"...The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7 bahagi --

"...Hindi tumitingin ang Panginoon na gaya ng pagtingin ng tao: sapagka't ang tao ay tumitingin sa mukha, nguni't ang Panginoon ay tumitingin sa puso."



So the next time, somebody comments about your respect journey, dear sisters in Christ, and calls you a Stepford wife-wannabe, with a smile on your face, say gently with much patience and understanding, "No, I am not a Stepford Wife. I am a Peaceful Wife." ;)

May we all be richly blessed! :)