The Wind Beneath My Wings

A Dream Come True for me - to sing and dance at the Araneta ("Superbass" by Nicki Minaj) to a full crowd! - July 2012

There is this saying that: 

"Behind every great MAN is a great WOMAN."

Well, in OUR married life, for the majority of it before I became a "peaceful wife", the opposite was true.

My husband was far from achieving his full potential to be deemed as great, and I was even farther in terms of supporting him to be deemed great too. In fact, I was almost never behind him in anything. I was always in front of him. I was great at leading, directing, deciding and forcing Dong to see things MY way, until eventually, I think he just gave up on trying to lead and left me to do whatever I wanted to do. Not because he had no choice, (he could do his best to make me see things his way) but because he LOVED me.

To him, the GOLDEN RULE ruled:

                                         "Do unto others as you want them to do unto you."

He wanted to be treated with love, so he showed me his love in the best way he knew how to love a Type A, opinionated, extremely motivated, used-to-getting-her-way go-getter -- to step back and just allow me to do what I wanted to do with my life -- and he would just COMPLETELY SUPPORT me. Kung saan ako masaya, doon siya. (Where I was happy, that's where he will be happy too.)

Newscaster - 1999

I have been a broadcaster for 15 years, starting with RJTV 29 and for the most part with the government network, People's Television, where I was a newscaster and TV host for more than a decade.

It was in PTV where I honed my talents in delivering the news, interviewing and hosting. I am really grateful for all the breaks that they gave me there. By the end of my stint, I was equipped with all the necessary skills to handle bigger tasks.

In 2012, when I transferred to UNTV, that was when things started getting even more interesting. It was to be a year of fulfilled dreams...

No sooner had I gone into the new network, than when I was given all sorts of jobs -- all of which I wanted to have and experience:

A primetime evening newscast...

Ito Ang Balita at 5:45 pm weekdays

A primetime morning newscast...

Hataw Balita with Daniel Razon on weekday mornings

A daily morning radio show...

Bom Dia with Annie Rentoy, weekdays at 4am

The girls of Pondahan then

I learned so much from this show!

A chance to join the intelligent discussion of the Pondahan ni Kuya tropa (troup)....





My own documentary program....

Istorya touched my heart and stretched my spirit. 

A chance to work with crimefighter and brave commentarist Ben Tulfo....

Off-cam, Bitag is kind and easy to talk to.

On-cam, Bitag is scary to criminals and errant officials.

 

With host, Richard Reynoso

A chance to sing and compete in A Song of Praise Music Festival...











Chances to sing almost in any event and every show....

Singing at a religious event for Ang Dating Daan - April 2012

Singing 'Firework' by Katy Perry at the Araneta - Mar 2012

Pondahan ni Kuya Daniel

And as if these were not enough, the Lord also allowed me to experience other "shallow" dreams of mine, like:

Having my own billboard....

Posing in front of our Ito ang Balita billboard along EDSA

Having my own print ad...

A half page spread!!!

Winning an award...

Anak TV Award for IAB - Dec 2012

And many, many more...

UNTV Radio Mobile Booth

TV plug shoot

Radio Anchoring

As if that weren't enough, the Lord even allowed me to experience how it was to have my own fans' club!

  The Banner on my Nikkalites Facebook account

                     

In short, I was able to do in ONE YEAR, ALL that I ever wanted to experience as a broadcaster/TV personality, than I have ever done in my 14 years of being in the industry!!! It came to  point when I thought, "Is the Lord going to take me already?" and 

"Is this God's Idea of a Joke?"

Thank you for bearing with me on this exhaustive list. I even removed other highlights because it would get even longer.

I had to do this though for you, dear sisters in Christ to see my husband's great love for me and how it led to where I am now in this season of my life.

Being that busy, where was my husband in all these and how did he take it? 

He was right behind me -- supporting me, comforting me, boosting my morale, believing in me, feeling proud of me and what I have accomplished. As it was then when we were boyfriend-girlfriend way back in 1997,  was how it was also during my "superstar" year in 2012. He was always the wind beneath my wings, pushing me to greater heights and not once did he attempt to "dull my sparkle."

Dong has always been my most avid supporter and NUMBER 1 FAN! Dec 2003

My prideful self though, although she was extremely grateful for such a loving man beside her at all times, was also saying "With all the wind he is giving me beneath my wings, I think I might rise sooooo high and leave the stratosphere! I wish he'd do something with his life. I am looking bad in all this, since he can't catch up with me! When people see me as "successful", they'd want to know who and what Dong is, and if they see that he is nowhere near my level of "success", how would that make me look?!?"

I am so ashamed of my thoughts then. :( Prideful, ugly, full of self. :(

1 John 2:16

¹⁶ For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.

1 Juan 2:16

¹⁶ Sapagka't ang lahat na nangasa sanglibutan, ang masamang pita ng laman at ang masamang pita ng mga mata at ang kapalaluan sa buhay, ay hindi mula sa Ama, kundi sa sanglibutan

2 Cor 10:12

² We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

2 Corinto 10:12 

10:12 Sapagka't hindi kami nangagmamatapang na makibilang o makitulad sa mga ilan doon sa mga nagmamapuri sa kanilang sarili: nguni't sila na sinusukat ang kanilang sarili sa kanila rin, at kanilang itinutulad ang sarili sa kanila rin ay mga walang unawa.  

James 4:6

⁶ But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:  “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."

Santiago 4:6 

4:6 Nguni't siya'y nagbibigay ng lalong biyaya. Kaya't sinasabi ng kasulatan, Ang Dios ay sumasalansang sa mga palalo, datapuwa't nagbibigay ng biyaya sa mga mapagpakumbaba.

* * * * *

Pictorial for a UNTV plug

I do have to be transparent so you can see through my heart, in order that, hopefully you too will see yours, to check if they too are full of pride, self-love, and conceit, as mine was.



In January 2013, I was forced to resign due to some unfortunate circumstances with the network. The content of which I will no longer get into.

I was pregnant with our fourth child then and had a lot of time in my hands. I used this to go into self-introspection and finding out my true life purpose.

The Birth of Isabelle Veronica -- on our wedding anniversary April 17, 2013

When I gave birth, that was the time the Lord really spoke to me and showed me the error of my ways. When I realized the gravity of my sins of pride, I repented and decided that since I have already experienced and reached my dreams, it was time to support Dong's.

A Pic made by a Fan

I was tired of leading.

I was tired of pursuing my career.

I have lost my desire to be a "superstar."

I had an increased desire to stay put and be led by my husband.

I was happy the Lord allowed for me to experience all that I wanted to experience in that area, not because I deserved it, but because with that out of the way (been there, done that),  He could now get my FULL ATTENTION. He could now talk to my heart. And this was what I heard spoken to me:

"Nikka, My child, you have always wanted to live your life to the fullest. Now that you have given up your worldly pursuits, and I have made sure you experienced ALL you wanted to do in your career  so that there was no stone unturned... Now that you have realized that all that was wonderful because it came from Me, but were all fleeting at best...  this season of your interior life, the one away from the limelight, will be your most fruitful ever."

Here is an excerpt from my diary written on September 1, 2013:

"Can I stand not being known, noticed, pampered? Can I stand simply being a housewife with part-time work and not this stylized career woman who is something to somebody every single moment? Can I be happy with simply being Mommy Nikka, whose highlight of the day is if the kids kiss her and tell her they love her? Can I revel in just being Dong’s sidekick and not the other way around? Can I stop my seemingly overbearing attitude to be in control of everything especially with regards to the family’s finances and future?

I will have to find out, with the only way how… to start this phase of my interior life with God holding my hand and helping me every step of the way. With much prayer and love, I give you the old Nikka o Lord. Change my heart. Change my mind. Make me love You and my husband and kids the way You want me to. Lead me, Lord. Today is the start of my new life."

I wrote this in my journal even before I came upon April Cassidy and her blog, "The Peaceful Wife". I decided on this even before I knew about the RESPECT journey. The Lord knew what was to happen even before I knew it myself. God is truly amazing.

I am grateful to God for allowing me -- weak and foolish me -- to experience so many highs in my life. I attribute it not to my talents but to God's Mercy. Him Who knew how frail I was, and soooo needy of human accolades and achievements. Apparently, He gave me all that because He wanted me to die, alright -- die to self.

As I share with you my journey into this new peaceful and lovely phase in my life, I pray that you too dear sister in Christ, will experience true peace from having submitted fully to the Lord, and from having accepted Him into your hearts as Lord and Savior.  Only then, can you truly spread your wings and... fly! :)

May we all be richly blessed!

 

Thank You.. Thank You.. Thank God for you Dong - the wind beneath my wings.