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Friday, December 6, 2013

How I Became Peacefulwife Philippines

The Alejars - August 2013

Hello Fellow Wives!

I am Veronica Alejar, a Filipina, 37 years old and wife (of 9 years, girlfriend of 7 years) of Dong Alejar. We have 4 children -- Therese (9), Andre(6), Reuben(3) and Isabelle(7 months old). I am a devout Catholic, who until very recently, was convicted by the Lord of all my sins, (first and foremost as a wife). Having realized the enormity of my pride and selfishness and my unnatural desire to control (my husband and everything else around me), I repented  and asked for His forgiveness.

Days and weeks and months passed and I felt a new spirit within me. One that is peaceful and joyful, with no fear of the future.

This blog is a product of that peace. My dear husband Dong himself told me to write a blog so that other wives, especially Filipina wives, will learn to respect their husbands and in so doing attain marriages that are full of order, love and peace.  (That was just this September, 2013.) I sat on that suggestion for three months or so because I felt inept and unsure on how to go about it. In the beginning, I was afraid to be reprimanded by fellow wives, given that the content of my blog will be counter-cultural, counter-intuitive, anti-feminist, quite archaic and outdated. The modern woman does not submit to anyone after all, or so she thinks. But in the end, the Holy Spirit led me into gaining courage to write this. I aim to please God and Him alone.

The name peacefulwife is a product of my correspondence with my Titus 2 elder, April Cassidy,
April Cassidy, my mentor in this journey
whose blog the Lord directed me to, two weeks after I told Him that the old Nikka was dead and that I would now follow His Will with regards to my marriage.

This is the Bible passage I now follow with all my heart:

Ephesians 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

5:22 Mga babae, pasakop kayo sa inyo-inyong sariling asawa, na gaya ng sa Panginoon.
5:23 Sapagka't ang lalake ay pangulo ng kaniyang asawa, gaya naman ni Cristo na pangulo ng iglesia, na siya rin ang tagapagligtas ng katawan.
5:24 Datapuwa't kung paanong ang iglesia ay nasasakop ni Cristo, ay gayon din naman ang mga babae ay pasakop sa kani-kaniyang asawa sa lahat ng mga bagay.
36th birthday, 2011

Join me as I blog about my journey as a submitted (to the Lord and to my husband) wife. In this day and age of disrespectful women and wives, I aim, with the Lord's Guidance, to help other former controlling and unsubmissive wives (like I was!) to let go and let God. Truly, this is the path to peace and the discovery of one's most authentic self. :) 

All my wisdom is nothing, so I would suggest to read my posts while also checking it against God's Word, the Bible.

My blog will be comprised of honest posts about my own journey as well as musings about all things that pertain to marriage and how we, as submitted wives should act or think or speak, as respectfully as possible to our husbands. I aim to counsel only the women though as in Titus 2:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

3 Sabihin mo sa matatandang babae na sila'y mamuhay na may kabanalan, huwag maninirang-puri, huwag maglalasing kundi magturo sila ng mabuti, 4 upang maakay nila ang mga kabataang babae na mahalin ang kanilang mga asawa at mga anak. 5 Ang mga kabataang ito'y kailangan ding turuan na maging mahinahon, malinis ang isipan, masipag sa gawaing bahay, mabait, at masunurin sa kanilang asawa upang walang masabi ang sinuman laban sa salita ng Diyos nang dahil sa kanila. 

I will also be posting links from time to time of my mentor in this journey whom God divinely appointed for me, April Cassidy, whose blog inspired me so much and whose godly wisdom has made it easier for me and fellow wives, to tackle this counter-cultural, counter-intuitive, seemingly archaic commandment by God to respect our husbands:

1 Peter 3:1-5

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands,


1 Pedro 3:1-5
1 Kayo namang mga babae, pasakop kayo sa inyu-inyong asawa. At kung mayroon sa kanila na hindi pa naniniwala sa salita ng Diyos, mahihikayat din silang sumampalataya dahil sa inyong magandang asal, kahit hindi na kayo magpaliwanag pa sa kanila. 2 Sapat nang makita nila ang inyong maka-Diyos at malinis na pamumuhay. 3 Ang inyong ganda ay huwag maging panlabas tulad ng pag-aayos ng buhok at pagsusuot ng mga gintong alahas at mamahaling damit. 4 Sa halip, pagyamanin ninyo ang kagandahang nakatago sa puso, ang kagandahang walang kupas na likha ng maamo at mapayapang diwa, na lubhang mahalaga sa mata ng Diyos. 5 Iyan ang kagandahang ipinakita ng mga banal na babaing umasa sa Diyos noong unang panahon. Sila'y nagpasakop sa kanilang mga asawa. 

It was April who thought of calling my own blog Peaceful Wife Philippines. I am grateful for her generosity of spirit and her wise counsel. Here is the link of that correspondence.

May God be greatly praised through this blog. I go through this blog with this in mind:

Luke 17:10
That's the way it is with you. When you've done everything you're ordered to do, say, 'We're worthless servants. We've only done our duty.'"

Lukas 17:10 
Ganoon din naman kayo; kapag nagawa na ninyo ang lahat ng iniuutos sa inyo, sabihin ninyo, ‘Kami’y mga aliping walang kabuluhan; tumutupad lamang kami sa aming tungkulin.' 

 May God open your hearts and minds today, fellow wives. God bless us all. :)


  1. Nikka,
    I am THRILLED about what God is doing in your heart and soul and in your marriage. It is such a joy to watch you grow in your faith and to watch your marriage flourish by the power of God at work in you. I can't wait to see what God has in store for you my precious sister and friend!

    All my love, prayers, blessings and support,

    1. Thank you the original Peacefulwife, April! :)

      Your mentoring and godly counsel are such blessings to me. The Lord really directed me towards you. Thank you for all the love and prayers!


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