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| Saved by his love and God's Mercy -April 17, 2004 |
(Editor's Note: Part 1: Depression and Oppression
Part 2: The Possession
The blog post you are reading is already Part 3: Salvation and Redemption)
Just a short re-run:
- Papa and I had a grave misunderstanding around August of 2003.
- I left home and found my own place that same month.
- I was still very prayerful till October of 2003 even attending daily mass.
- By November, Papa's lack of attention or concern towards me caused me extreme depression.
- My depression led to an extreme oppression by the evil one.
- That oppression led to my possession, some time in November after my Papa's birthday.
- Dong saved me from fleeing to a foreign land to be somebody's sex slave in January 2004.
The series of events are what transpired after Dong realized that he was fighting more than just a human being. It was spiritual warfare. He was a very religious person and he knew that we were up against the devil, who used that pervert to get to me.
The first thing Dong did was to tell that old Carribean author to stay away from me.
The night that he found out that I was possessed, he did not leave my side. He slept beside me to watch over me. When he awoke, he told me he had very bad dreams filled with many demons. Because of that, he told me that I should leave the apartment immediately, never to come back.
At that time, Papa and I were still not in speaking terms, so Dong did what he thought was best. He
made me stay in their house where he still lived with his elderly parents and adult brothers. (In the Philippines, unmarried children still live with their family until such time that they get married.)
"I" was dazed during this whole period and "I" would give him these crazy, evil, sometimes lustful looks. Every time "I" would do that, he would place one palm at the back of my head and pray over me. He would also say aloud, "In the Name of Jesus, get out *satan!" till my eyes looked normal again.
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| Mommy Letty's 76th bday. She is a living saint. |
His mother, Mommy Letty is one of the most saintly people you would ever have a chance to meet. Dong told her about what had happened to me and she believed immediately. That same night when they took me in, we prayed the rosary. She led the prayers and also took out her Bible.We recited Psalm 91 and St. Michael's prayer over dark forces.
Dong started looking for a priest who could exorcise me. There were not much priests with that gift, so we went from church to church until we ended up in Dela Strada Parish in Quezon City. They were to have a "healing mass" that Friday. We decided to attend that particular mass.
After the mass, the priest asked those who needed healing to come forward. There were many sick people, but I was spiritually sick so I too came forward. Even Dong did so. Dong told him about what had happened to me, so the priest said some extra prayers for me. When he prayed over me and blessed me with Holy Water, whatever evil entity that was residing in my body, left me. I felt as though I was floating. My feet were on the ground but I felt so light. I also felt much peace.
Days passed by quickly and Dong would continue to accompany me to church to hear daily mass. We would take in daily communion and I would confess to a priest daily too. I prayed for repentance and deliverance from my sins. At this time too, I was still not talking to Papa. I didn't want to tell him what had happened. He might not believe it and even if he did, I was afraid he would be too heartbroken at what had happened to me. I too could not talk about it without somehow pointing an accusing finger at him seemingly to say: "See! Look at what you have done!"
So, I opted to delay going to Papa till I was really spiritually and physically well.
One day while at church just before Holy Communion while everyone was standing, Dong out of the blue, held my right hand and went down on one knee. He proposed to me. People were staring! He asked, "Nikka, will you marry me?" I was so surprised by his proposition because we were together for seven years already by that time and I was wondering if our relationship would ever level up. But with much joy in my heart, I said, "Yes." He had no ring to give because it was a spur-of-the-moment, now-or-never thing for Dong so he just gave me his scapular instead.
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| We got married where I was healed. - Dela Strada Parish |
That was on January 27, 2004. :) We got married April 17, 2004. People thought it to be too hasty that they even asked if it was because Dong had gotten me pregnant! If they only knew.. Well, they would know now. :) The truth is out.
He later on told me that he battled with himself if he should take the leap of faith and ask that we get married. He had so many fears. Fears of not being a good provider like Papa was. Fears of not being equipped to start his own family. But over that fear, was his deep love for me. After what happened, he told God that he could not let me go ever again. He wanted to protect me. He wanted to be there for me all the time. The only way that could happen was if he married me.
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."
A week after that, he sent Papa a letter asking if he could ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. He had to edit it five times because the first letter was so full of anger over what had happened to me, that he sounded very accusatory in it. He wrote again and again, and after humbling himself before God, came up with a letter that was respectful and loving.
When we went to the house on the date that Papa said was okay, I felt so ashamed. But, I just went to my Papa and told him in tears, "Papa, will you forgive me? Papa, do you love me?" He said, choking on emotions too, " I love you and your sister." We embraced, and he and Dong talked about the wedding plans. (Note: I never told Papa even till the day he died about my demonic possession. I just kept it to myself.)
There are many things to be learned from the whole experience. I could have opted not to share about this to virtual strangers in the world wide web, but I know that God wants me to talk about it for the first time in public, for the benefit of those who may find themselves in the same situation as I was. As I've said, I have always known I would one day bear witness to my demonic possession but it's only now that I felt led by the Spirit to do so...
LESSONS
1. "Honor your father and mother." - Exodus 20:12 and "Children, obey your parents for this is the right thing to do." - Ephesians 6:1
My rebellion towards Papa was disrespectful to him. No matter what his faults and failures were, he did not deserve how I treated him. By disrespecting my father, I too disrespected God. By going against Papa, I went against God. By leaving our home, I lost his protection over me, especially since I was unmarried yet at that time.
2. "God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6
If Dong and I went to Papa, haughty and proud, not only would we not have reconciled, we also would have been opposed by God. All our plans would not have been blessed, including our marital union. But, by humbling ourselves before Papa and before God, the Lord looked kindly on us and gave us His Grace and Mercy.
3. "And my people who are called by My Name humble themselves and pray, and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." - 2 Chronicles 7:1
The Lord healed my spirit. He removed the evil spirit that resided in me for a month or so. He forgave me for my sins when I humbled myself before Him and before Papa.
And finally...
4. "When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies be at peace with him." - Proverbs 16:7
The reason this 3-part post is entitled "Coming Full Circle" is because my life has indeed come full circle.
Coming full circle means "to return to the same situation or attitude you originally had."
I am back to where the Lord first found me 10 years ago.
- In 2003, I got possessed by a demon, repented of my sins and felt a peace like no other.
In 2013, I got tired of my worldly pursuits and selfishness, repented of my sins and felt a peace that only Christ could give.
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| Family House - Full of Grief 2003 |
- In 2003, I left the family house because I found it to be full of anger and sadness.
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| New Home, New Life - Nov 2013 |
In 2013, we left the family house for good, because were able to sell it. :) We have been trying so hard to sell it since Papa died in order to start a new life. And guess who was able to help us sell it? Our broker was my Papa's ex-girlfriend, the one whom I had a rift with in the past! My former "enemy" is now my really good friend. :) (Note: She is an ex-girlfriend because they broke up a month before Papa died.)
- In 2004, I was my holiest self. I was modest in my apparel, joyful in my disposition, at peace with myself and with the world having been cleansed of my sins early that year after my possession.
In 2014, I am my most blessed self. I enjoy modesty in dressing, am cheerful in disposition and at peace with myself, with the world and with God.
- In 2004, I trusted in God and had confidence in my husband.
In 2014, I now have let go and let God completely and I trust that God is leading and will be leading me through my loving husband Dong, as long as we both shall live.
Fulfilling my role as Dong's helpmeet will be my road to salvation. In following Christ, rejecting *satan, and dying to myself every day of my life, will be my redemption.
I have come full circle.
This time around, my enemy was not the devil but my sinful flesh.
My victory now is not over a demon but over my egoistic self.
What God had begun in me then, He is completing now.
I pray with all my heart and soul, that with my constant dying to self every day, I will never again go astray. I am carefully guarding my heart and my spirit now so that neither this sinful flesh nor the evil devil could get to my soul. It is so easy to forget the lessons of the past, as I have proven in my life...
It is with the constant carrying of our crosses daily and a constant dying to self that we are able to experience true peace. It is in letting God rule our lives that we become truly free.
Lord, as it was then, so it is now. Use me for Your Greater Glory. May my mistakes and sins, no matter how shameful they are when divulged to the world, be used by You to open up other people's eyes.
In ending, I will share with you my lone entry from after the possession dated :
February 9, 2004
After the horrible possession by the evil devil, I am now given by God a new lease at life. I know what hell is -- it seems 'beautiful' -- all about the self, an inflated ego, a "full" sense of self. Everything revolves around you. Nobody is spared when the ego gets hurt.
And I know what heaven is. It is goodness and kindness and mercy and love. All coming from God. God has saved me. This time, not only from myself, but from the snares of the devil as well. Knowing now who my enemy is, I've been able to detect sin and cringe as it touches even however slightly my soul, This is the Lord's Grace. No merits of my own.
I am a sinner. No better than Mary Magdalene. And yet, God chose me. To bear witness to His saving Mercy and Love. I've been saved from the sinister and cunning ploys of the Evil One.God has forgiven me. It took an otherwise supernatural and 'crazy' awakening to snap me out of my misery that has been cause by the devil since Day 1.
Praise be to God Whose Ways are mysterious! Praise and Glory be to Him Whose Mercy is boundless and Whose Love is unparalleled!
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| If the devil succeeded in 2003, I would not have these angels now. Praise be to God for saving me. I now give Him my all. The Alejar Family :) - 2013 |
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
May we all be richly blessed! :)
* satan -- I do not capitalize his name. He doesn't deserve even a capital letter.
