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Monday, December 16, 2013

Peaceful Wife = Stepford Wife?

"The Stepford Wives" - 2004

The Stepford Wives is a 1972 satirical thriller novel by Ira Levin. The story concerns Joanna Eberhart, a photographer and and young mother who begins to suspect that the frighteningly submissive housewives in her new idyllic Connecticut neighborhood may be robots created by their husbands.

First Film - 1975
Two films of the same name have been adapted from the novel; the first starred Katharine Ross and was released in 1975, while a remake starring Nicole Kidman appeared in 2004. 

Remake -2004
The term "Stepford wife", which is often used in popular culture, stemmed from the novel, and is usually a reference to a submissive and docile housewife. 

Interestingly, the movie in 1975 was categorized as part of the modern-day horror film genre, along with movies like STAR WARS, CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, THE BLACK HOLE and THE TOWERING INFERNO.


That word again.

A beautiful and Biblical word hijacked now by the enemy. Even I still choke on the word every now and then when I talk about this season in my life. 

Try Googling the word, submissive, and you will get nothing Christian or wholesome, and everything worldly and lewd.As in BDSM lewd. BDSM by the way, stands for Bondage & Discpline and Sadism & Masochism. Whoa, right? Heavy sinful stuff.

That word crops up too when people talk about Stepford wives. As in:

"Ah, she has gone submissive? She listens to and respects her husband?! Oh, she's become a Stepford wife! How horrible!!!"

"She used to be so career-oriented. Now she is JUST a stay-at-home mom and a submissive wife. She is a Stepford wife! What a waste!!!"

Are peaceful wives and Stepford wives one and the same?

First, let us define the terms by describing both:


1. Submissive to the Lord and to her husband
2. Modest in dress and behavior
3. Gentle and kind
4. Supportive and helpful to her husband and loving towards her children
5. Good with House work or anything to do with taking care of the home
6. Joyful and Peaceful
7. Loves God above all

A STEPFORD WIFE ,at least from the movie's definition is:

1. A docile, mindless, submissive person who never questions authority
2. Dresses beautifully and looks perfect all the time.
3. Gentle and kind and has perfect manners.
4. Supportive and helpful to her husband at all times. She adores her husband and attends to her children.
5. Very good with house work. Her home is always spotless and immaculate!
6. Happy and Positive all the time!

From the outset, they seem to be one and the same.

Even how the main protagonist's transition from driven career woman to domesticated wife and mother, in the second movie starring Nicole Kidman sounds familiar...

Taken fromWikipedia , here is an excerpt:

"...Joanna argues with Walter about the incident with Sarah until Walter loses his temper and yells at her.
He tells her that her children barely know her, that their marriage is falling apart, and that she's so domineering, people want to kill her. Realizing how unhappy she is, Joanna apologizes and agrees to try and fit in with the other wives. The next day, she cleans the house and tries wearing more makeup...

Soon after, Joanna learns the secrets of this weird town and freaks out!

"Terrified, Joanna tells Walter that she wants to move. Walter apologizes, saying that if she's so miserable, they can leave tomorrow. She thanks him. That night, she is awakened by their robotic dog bringing her a bone.
She is horrified to find that it's actually a remote control, like Sarah's but labeled JOANNA. She goes online to research the women of Stepford and learns that the women used to be scientists, engineers and judges. The next morning she runs to see Bobbie, only to find that she, too, has become fawning and stupid. Joanna realizes that Bobbie isn't human anymore when Bobbie fails to react to the open flame of a lit stove.
Joanna tries to flee but finds that her children have been taken hostage by the men.

 She storms into the Men's Club demanding that the men return her children, but the men, who have been lying in wait for her, capture her.

The men explain that when their wives were scientists and engineers, their wives reduced them to low-level support roles. Enraged, the men implanted microchips into their wives' brains and then transplanted their minds into cloned bodies, which became the men's patient, subservient and impossibly beautiful robot mistresses."

Robot Mistresses = Stepford Wives

There lies the difference between the PEACEFUL WIFE vs the STEPFORD WIFE.

FREE WILL. That... and GOD.

That makes a whole world of difference.

The Stepford wives did not, by their own volition, choose the path of submission...

The Stepford wives, did not decide to let go of their desire to control their husbands in order to attain true peace and freedom...

The Stepford wives, did not have it in them to choose this seemingly archaic and outdated Biblical concept in order to honor God by empowering their husbands' leadership through submission, because...

They were ROBOTS! Microchips were put in the domineering human wives' brains, and then transplanted into cloned bodies, in order to attain the husbands' impossibly beautiful and subservient wives -- "mistresses" who did not make them feel so disrespected!

They were TOO PERFECT in the worldly sense of the word. Too beautiful. Too good-natured. Too efficient in the home. Too FAKE.

Peaceful wives are not like that.

Peaceful wives are :

  • sinful but they choose to die to themselves every single day, and in so doing, find their most authentic self  (Gal 2:20)
  • imperfect although they all strive to be "perfect", just as the Heavenly Father is  perfect ((Matt. 5:48) but not as the world defines it. They will be made perfect when their love is already complete like God's Love -- loving even their enemies (or their perceived errant husbands!) as is expected from God's children.
  • beautiful not because of outside adornment but because of  gentle and quiet spirits that please God (1 Peter 3:3-4)
  • busy at home, efficient in their jobs/businesses, and do not eat "the bread of idleness" (Proverbs 31:10-31)
  • a joy to be with and their husbands consider themselves blessed (Proverbs 16:22)
  • Biblically submissive, in that though they can very well take charge, they choose to let go of their pride and desires of control, in order to allow their husbands to lead them, having full faith in God that through these imperfect human beings, God will lead them and their families to what is BEST for all of them. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
  • fearful of God (Proverbs 14:27)

August 2013, with Therese (1st)  and Isabelle (4th)
My conclusion is: I think from the outside, Peaceful Wives could be mistaken for Stepford Wives, for the simple reason that both are "submissive". But from the inside, where motivations matter most to God, that's where you will find that they are not the same at all...

1 Samuel 16:7 part --

"...The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7 bahagi --

"...Hindi tumitingin ang Panginoon na gaya ng pagtingin ng tao: sapagka't ang tao ay tumitingin sa mukha, nguni't ang Panginoon ay tumitingin sa puso."

So the next time, somebody comments about your respect journey, dear sisters in Christ, and calls you a Stepford wife-wannabe, with a smile on your face, say gently with much patience and understanding, "No, I am not a Stepford Wife. I am a Peaceful Wife." ;)

May we all be richly blessed! :)


  1. My compliments for your blog and pictures included,I invite you in my photoblog "photosphera"


    Greetings from Italy


    1. Thanks Marlow! Your pictures are breathtaking! God bless! :)


Feel free to comment. I would love to discuss things with you. :)