|I set the camera's date wrongly. No, this was not 2086, but 2007 :)|
Maybe you are at a point when you are ashamed of how badly you treated your husband and want to repent to God and to him for all the months and years of being disrespectful.
Maybe you are little by little learning to hold your tongue and watch your behavior about him.
So... the next question would be is, now that YOU are being RESPECTFUL the way the Bible said in Ephesians to "respect your husbands and submit unto them as unto the Lord", will things now be okay? Will he now finally, truly change???
When the reason for one's own change and transformation, is so that YOUR HUSBAND would CHANGE, something is not right there, sister! That is not real CHANGE. That is conditional and pretentious behavior.
Our focus is NOT on our husbands. Our focus is only on OURSELVES and ultimately on GOD.
Whether he changes or not is NOT in our hands, nor is it the END GOAL.
The aim is to please God by being submissive to our God-ordained authority, our husbands, and nothing else.
Also, our FOCUS is ONLY on OURSELVES. This is the time when we just look at Me, Myself and I.
Remember the adage, "CHANGE BEGINS WITH ONESELF"? Or that "You cannot change anybody but yourself."? That is true not only in a practical sense but in the Biblical sense as well.
To use this new concept of SUBMISSIVENESS to get a certain reaction from your husband is DOING THIS BEAUTIFUL ACT with the WRONG MOTIVES.
This is a true TEST of your FAITH in God. Am I willing to let go of my desire to control my husband and my desire to change him? Am I willing to allow God to be God? I am NOT my husband's Holy Spirit. I cannot change him. Only GOD can change hearts and only GOD can convict people of their sins. It is not my place nor my responsibility to change my husband. BUT I can change MYSELF.
I can ask for repentance for my pride, my jealousy, my anger, my bitterness, my resentment.
I can stop my prideful thoughts and my hurtful words.
I can start respecting him not only exteriorly through actions but interiorly as well, through thoughts.
I can start changing now because the Lord is filling me up with His Spirit.
I can focus on my own sins, and not on his.
If he responds lovingly, the way you want him to, that is totally because of God, not because of you.
If he changes his irritating behavior which has caused numerous quarrels in the past, that is not because of you.
If he suddenly steps up the plate and stops drinking, womanizing or gambling because he feels that he is finding fulfillment in the home, that is not because of you.
Yes, precious sister, your change in behavior and attitude is wonderful and is noteworthy, but NEVER FORGET that the reason for the changes in him, was because of GOD and not YOU. But, God will use you and your humility to get to him.
If however, he doesn't change, DO NOT LOSE HOPE! With eyes set on the Lord and your desire to honor Him with your actions follow 1 Peter 3.
To each his/her own instruction! It's not just us that are called to RESPECT our husbands. They are called too to LOVE us! :) No conditions.
Not RESPECT your husband IF he is a good provider.
Not RESPECT your husband IF he is a good father.
In the same way, it doesn't say there to
Not LOVE your wife IF she is a nagger.
Not LOVE your wife IF she has gained many pounds.
It is unconditional RESPECT that God requires of us.
It is unconditional LOVE that God requires of them.
So, in the question, if I respect my husband, will he change? The answer would be:
Yes, he may (answered prayers!) or he may not (but don't despair!), but the question is IRRELEVANT. What is important is that I change, because in the end, only I am answerable to my Creator. No one else.
My prayer is that fellow wives all around the world, learn to RESPECT their husbands. May all of us be richly blessed! God bless us all. :)