|Fathers' Day 2012|
Wives, and you have to be honest with me in this. Do you honestly, truly RESPECT your husbands?
Not just to shut up or not call him names in private or public. Not just not yelling or not speaking ill of him with friends or family... but true, honest-to-goodness, respect for him?
I am asking you this because I used to think I was a RESPECTFUL wife.
- I never called him names or went below the belt in our arguments/discussions.
- I refused to tell my friends and family bad things about him.
- I never yelled at him nor threw stuff at him in fits of anger.
- In my mind, I never nagged him.
- I tolerated his seemingly bad behavior (in my mind).
Boy, was I wrong! I was very DISRESPECTFUL. God must have been super displeased with me. There was so much pride and disrespect in my heart. :(
1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7
Nguni't sinabi ng Panginoon kay Samuel, Huwag mong tingnan ang kaniyang mukha, o ang taas ng kaniyang kataasan; sapagka't aking itinakuwil siya: sapagka't hindi tumitingin ang Panginoon na gaya ng pagtingin ng tao: sapagka't ang tao ay tumitingin sa mukha, nguni't ang Panginoon ay tumitingin sa puso.
How come, you say, was I disrespectful when from the outset I was VERY respectful?!?
- I may have not called him names to his face, but when things did not go my way or when he seemed to not be doing what I thought he should be doing, I grumbled and mumbled and was angry and bitter and resentful, albeit I only seethed in silence.
- I may not have been a tattle-tale or a gossiper as far as what I perceived his faults to be with my friends and family, but it was not really out of respect for him, but out of saving face for me. Shamefully, I admit, it was still all about me. I should look good, so I will NOT make him look bad. :(
- I may never have thrown things at him or yelled at him, but I was "shouting" prideful thoughts in my head. "If only he were more motivated and less laid-back! If only God will finally answer my prayers to change him, things would be great! Lord God, direct his path please!!!!!!!!!!"
- I may have not nagged him in the "palengkera" sense of the word but I was constantly micro-managing him by giving him job application info, suggestions on what he should do or where he should work, and acting like his life coach/talent manager. That did not motivate him at all but only made him resent me for my overstepping of boundaries.
- I may have "tolerated" his seemingly bad behavior but it was not because I just loved him, it was because I was patronizing him. I was the kind and focused one and he was the complacent or clueless person in the marriage after all. I am doing him a favor because I am understanding of his weaknesses. After all, I am "perfect". I would never have uttered this but I think in retrospect, I felt I was above him and his behavior is expected of him, as he was beneath me! Yuck!
1 Peter 3
3 You should not be fine on the outside only. Some women make their hair nice. They wear gold things. They have fine clothes.
4 But you must be fine in your heart. Have a heart that is gentle and quiet. That will not wear out. And God thinks it is worth very much.
5 There were holy women long ago who trusted in God. They made themselves nice in this way. They obeyed their husbands.
6 Sarah obeyed Abraham. She called him her master. You are her children if you do what is right and are not afraid of trouble.
1 Pedro 3: 1-6
Katuruan Para sa mga Mag-asawa1 Kayo namang mga babae, pasakop kayo sa inyu-inyong asawa. At kung mayroon sa kanila na hindi pa naniniwala sa salita ng Diyos, mahihikayat din silang sumampalataya dahil sa inyong magandang asal, kahit hindi na kayo magpaliwanag pa sa kanila.
2 Sapat nang makita nila ang inyong maka-Diyos at malinis na pamumuhay.
3 Ang inyong ganda ay huwag maging panlabas tulad ng pag-aayos ng buhok at pagsusuot ng mga gintong alahas at mamahaling damit.
4 Sa halip, pagyamanin ninyo ang kagandahang nakatago sa puso, ang kagandahang walang kupas na likha ng maamo at mapayapang diwa, na lubhang mahalaga sa mata ng Diyos.
5 Iyan ang kagandahang ipinakita ng mga banal na babaing umasa sa Diyos noong unang panahon. Sila'y nagpasakop sa kanilang mga asawa.
6 Tulad ni Sara, sinunod niya at tinawag na panginoon ang asawa niyang si Abraham. Kayo rin ay mapapabilang sa kanyang mga anak kung matuwid ang inyong mga gawa, at kung wala kayong anumang kinatatakutan.
The Bible is clear on the commandent of God to us wives, that we should RESPECT our husbands.
For a more comprehensive post on what speaks disrespect to our husbands, here is a link from Peacefulwife:
My prayer is that wives all over the world, especially Filipina wives stop the ander-da-saya mentality as this not only maligns God's Word but grieves His Heart. God bless us all! :)