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Thursday, December 12, 2013

The Oscar Love Curse - Is It The Same As Eve's Curse?

Why is that when they get 'Oscar', they lose their husbands?

Let's go showbiz. Hollywood-style :)

Do you know that there is such a thing as the OSCAR LOVE CURSE? Based on Wikipedia's definition, the Oscar Love Curse "is a superstition that the woman who wins the Academy Award for Best Actress, will have her boyfriend or husband cheat on her or divorce her soon after. It has also been applied to the Best Supporting Actress."
Reese Witherspoon with Ryan Philippe

Some examples:

Reese Witherspoon, who won the award for 'Walk the Line' in 2006, divorced Ryan Philippe after
more than seven years of marriage, a year after she won the Oscar. Witherspoon filed for divorce from her husband on November 8, 2006, citing "irreconcilable differences" as the cause.

Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe
Hilary Swank won the Oscar in both 2000 and 2005 for her performances in "Boys Don't Cry" and "Million Dollar Baby," respectively. She was able to duck the divorce 'curse' the first time around but did not survive it in her second. During her 2005 acceptance speech, the first person Swank thanked was her husband of nine years, Chad Lowe. Less than a year later, they separated. 

According to Mail Online, female winners of the coveted prize are 63% more likely to have a shorter marriage than those who don't win the famous award.

Kate Winslet with Sam Mendes

In 2009, it was Kate Winslet who won the Academy Award for 'The Reader' and despite appearing very close to her husband, English stage and film director Sam Mendes during that time, they got divorced a year after.

Sanda Bullock with Jesse James
The last casualty of this 'curse' was Sandra Bullock. Just days after winning her Oscar for 'The Blind Side' on 2010, her marriage to Jesse James was dissolved due to his alleged cheating.


"Of the 266 married women who have been nominated for the Best Actress award from the beginning of the modern Oscars in 1936 to the present, 159 of them got divorced, or 60 per cent.
Winners of the gong are 1.68 times more likely to head to the divorce court than losers. " - Mail Online

Halle Berry was the first black woman to win an Oscar - 'Monster's Ball, 2002. Shown here with singer-songwriter, ex-hubby Eric Benet. They separated three years after she won the Oscar.

From Mail Online 's article early this year, researcher Tiziana Casciaro from the University of Toronto said that the sudden elevation in fame could play a part in the increased divorce rate. 

"Winning an Oscar can be construed as a big jump in professional status that an actress has in their world and in the eyes of the broader audience,' said Casciaro.
The general social norm, kind of requires a man to have higher professional and economic status over the wife. So whenever that social norm is violated, both husband and wife may feel discomfort..."

Shockingly, studies have shown that there is virtually no change in the status of married men.Their marriages are NOT threatened.

Tom Hanks has been nominated 5 times and has won TWO Oscars. With him in picture is his wife Rita Wilson. Incidentally, they are celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary as I write this blog post. He said in The Ellen de Generes Show that, "I'm not one to suck up to the audience, but the only thing we ever argue about is who loves each other more…" 

Aaaaaaw, how sweet!!! Don't you just find Tom and Rita so cute? :)

Lest you think you are in a showbiz blog, let me connect that with the content of our PeacefulwifePhilippines blog now...

- Marriages of men who have won the Oscar are NOT THREATENED by the elevation of their career or social status.

- Marriages of women who have won the coveted award ARE THREATENED BIG-TIME and more than half of their marriages ended up in DIVORCE.

As I was starting on my submissive journey in August of this year (2013), I bookmarked the list of actresses whose marriages ended in bitter divorce disputes after they won the Academy Awards Best Actress/Supporting Actress trophies. I said to myself, "Something is in here that cannot be attributed to a mere coincidence or superstitious belief." American showbiz writers call it the "Oscar love curse". I think it is still Eve's Curse leveled up and repackaged in the modern times.

Genesis 3:16

16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
    in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.”


3:16 Sinabi niya sa babae, Pararamihin kong lubha ang iyong kalumbayan at ang iyong paglilihi; manganganak kang may kahirapan; at sa iyong asawa ay pahihinuhod ang iyong kalooban, at siya'y papapanginoon sa iyo.

(Italics are mine.)

I have four children delivered normally each time, so I know by experience that childbirth IS PAINFUL. I will expound on that curse in future posts but for now, in line with the 'Oscar Curse', I want to focus on the second curse that I italicized: "Your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.”This verse causes some confusion in that, desiring one's husband is not necessarily a bad thing or a curse, right?
Super pregnant with our second child, Andre - 2007

Not to go into semantics for I am neither a Bible scholar nor a learned Bible reader, (I am Catholic and I've only started reading His Word daily at the start of my submissive journey, give or take 3 months, and I am enamored by the wealth of wisdom in its pages! Just to add, Catholics ARE Christians. We just don't read the Bible as much. Fellow Catholic wives, you are missing a lot!!!) so I will just quote what the site, Got Questions (on the Bible) answered regarding this particular question:

        How is a woman's desire for her husband a CURSE? 

A Man Who Wears PINK they say is confident in his sexuality. ;)
The Hebrew phrase in question does not include a verb and is literally translated “toward your husband your desire.” Since this judgment is predictive, the future tense verb “will be” is added for clarity: “Your desire will be for your husband.” The most basic and straightforward understanding of this verse is that woman and man would now have ongoing conflict. In contrast to the ideal conditions in the Garden of Eden and the harmony between Adam and Eve, their relationship, from that point on, would include a power struggle. The NLT translation makes it more evident: “You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.”

God is saying that Eve would desire to rule over her husband, but her husband would instead rule over her. Replacing the mutually interdependent relationship the Lord had created was a desire for one spouse to lead the other. Sin had wrought discord. The battle of the sexes had begun. Both man and woman would now seek the upper hand in marriage. The man who was to lovingly care for and nurture his wife would now seek to rule her, and the wife would desire to wrest control from her husband.

It is important to note that this judgment only states what will take place. God says that man and woman will live in conflict and their relationship will become problematic.
The statement “he shall rule over you” is not a biblical command for men to dominate women. "

                                                                              * * *

Because of SIN, the Battle of the Sexes had begun!!! Adam vs Eve!

Adam is the FIRST Ander de Saya in history!!! Eve is the first Kumander! (For non-Filipinos, please click on the meaning of Ander de Saya here and here.

A Wedding Cake Topper - Yikes!
Going back to the 'Oscar curse'... It is becoming clearer that the Oscar Love Curse and Eve's Curse are one and the same, or at least shades of the same CURSE. Women want to topple the man's leadership/authority. Ayaw patalo. Mas magaling kami! (Women don't want to be dominated. We are better than men!) There is nothing intrinsically wrong in being more talented or even more successful in terms of career (although this poses problems too but nothing God cannot handle), but in marriage, ladies, we should know where we stand. Dapat alam nating lumugar...

Genesis 2:20-22 part:

20 ...But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

 Henesis 2:20-22 bahagi:

2:20 ... datapuwa't sa lalake ay walang nasumpungang maging katulong niya.
2:21 At hinulugan ng Panginoong Dios ng di kawasang himbing ang lalake, at siya'y natulog: at kinuha ang isa sa kaniyang mga tadyang at pinapaghilom ang laman sa dakong yaon:
2:22 At ang tadyang na kinuha ng Panginoong Dios sa lalake ay ginawang isang babae, at ito'y dinala niya sa lalake.

No matter what we say, fellow sisters in this journey... no matter how much we refuse to accept it, it is written in the Old Testament that we, beautiful sisters in Christ, were made for men, to be their suitable companions, and not the other way around.

To reiterate on this important precept, in the New Testament it is written:

1 Corinthians 11:8-9

For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.

1 Corinto 11:8-9
11:8 Sapagka't ang lalake ay hindi sa babae; kundi ang babae ay sa lalake:
11:9 Sapagka't hindi nilalang ang lalake dahil sa babae; kundi ang babae dahil sa lalake; 

I don't claim to be privy to the Hollywood stars' innermost secrets especially when it comes to their relationships with their husbands, and I am in no position to judge their lives (only God knows their hearts!), but just basing it on the fallen nature of man and woman, the power struggle in the Garden of Eden then, seems to be the same power struggle that all modern women are still facing now  -- not only in Hollywood, but also to every ordinary and obscure married couple on earth. We are all daughters of Eve. :(

Oblivious to the 'Oscar Curse', Oscar Best Actress winner in 1997 for 'Shakespeare in Love', actress Gwyneth Paltrow with husband Coldplay Front Man Chris Martin admits her best decision in her life so far, is: "To marry my husband." Chris for his part, admitted that marrying her was like "winning the lottery."

Famous or not famous, rich or poor, beautiful or plain, knowing where we are in God's Greater Scheme of Things, will make our marriages survive the highest peaks and the lowest valleys. Instead of being like Eve, may we imitate Sarah of the Bible:

1 Peter 3:5-6

5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
1 Pedro 3:5-6

3:5 Sapagka't nang unang panahon, ay ganito naman nagsigayak ang mga babaing banal na nagsiasa sa Dios, na pasakop sa kanikaniyang asawa;
3:6 Na gaya ni Sara na tumalima kay Abraham, na kaniyang tinawag na panginoon: na kayo ang mga anak niya ngayon, kung nagsisigawa kayo ng mabuti, at di kayo nangatatakot sa anomang kasindakan. 

Okay, maybe we don't need to call dear hubby MASTER (Sardines or Showman? Inside Joke for Filipinas. :) Kidding aside, it could get pretty awkward!), but let us encourage and empower our husband's leadership by the beautiful gift of SUBMISSION. That way, the Oscar Love Curse or Eve's Curse will no longer hold its "dark spell" on any of us.

May we all be richly blessed! :) 

P.S. As of April 2014, Gwyneth and husband Chris Martin are already divorced or in their euphemistic term, "uncoupled."  The "Curse" continues?


  1. Love this!!!! Thank you for sharing! :)

    1. You're welcome, April! It really piqued my interest. It became clearer to me as I was going deeper into my respect journey.


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