You are in for the most exciting and scary ride of your life!
If you are anything like me (has an extreme desire to control things and events, worrisome, obsessive, cannot stay put), this is probably the MOST SCARY thing you have ever done in your life. I liken it to jumping off a cliff. You do not know if you'd be dead, wounded or just fine.
|Commonwealth Avenue Philippines- Killer Highway|
This journey is not a walk in the park. It is really like crossing Commonwealth Avenue, deemed as the "Killer Highway" for its infamous and numerous accidents which almost always lead to death. You are most likely to get hit - not by a bus or truck though - but by the negative reactions of people, your own weaknesses or even your own husband (who will not bite immediately at the concept of the new you, lest it be a trap)! It is safer and easier to use the overpass to cross this highway than to run from end to end. You may use this blog, as well as April Cassidy's, the Peacefulwife's blog to aid you in making that transition. As Titus 2 elders, allow our own respect journeys, to be your "overpass". This will make YOUR OWN journey easier. April was alone in her journey when she started the RESPECT thing. Now she has me and so many others, following God's Design For Marriage. Ain't God Great?! Since we really are an era of women, with no godly mentors in the marriage arena, instead of going about this blindly, let us all help one another, fellow peaceful wives! :)
|Knocked out! Giving birth is like having one foot in the grave they say.|
So, you are already in this exciting RESPECT journey. What should you say or not say to your husband?
DO NOT SAY things like:
- Rerespetuhin kita kahit di ka karespe-respeto kasi sabi sa Bibliya na gawin ko ito. (I will respect you even if you are not respectable because the Bible says so.)
- Hindi ka marunong /magaling na leader pero susundin kita kasi yun ang tamang gawin. (You are not a good leader but I will follow you anyway, since that is the right thing to do.)
- Mula ngayon, kahit nakikita kong mali naman mga ginagawa mo, tatahimik na lang ako.(Starting today, even if I see you doing things wrongly, I will just be silent.)
Maybe it would be better for you to NOT speak yet to your husband about this journey till you are ready to share about it.
It would depend on his relationship with God or your own relationship with each other.
If he is:
1) Far from God/An Unbeliever -- It would be weird to say things like "I am dying to self everyday." "Dying? You are dying? What?!", he might ask. In this case, it would be best to practice 1 Peter 3:1-5 with him. Actions over words. It is just not the right time to teach him theology or catechism at this point. Just walk your talk, and let God work in your husband's heart as he sees your gracious changes.
2) Close to God -- Just be honest with him that God has convicted you of your sins and that you want to follow Him by submitting yourself to your husband's leadership, as in Ephesians 5: 21-33. Submitting to him, as unto the Lord.
I actually shared with Dong that I wanted to follow God by following him. I said things like "I feel protected when I am under your authority." to which he said, "So, it really is about God then." and I said, "Yes." and he understood. He didn't get jealous with God or asked why I wouldn't do it for him, instead of for God. He simply nodded.
My prayer is that fellow wives not lose hope and be steadfast in their faith because even though this is going to be a difficult, sometimes extremely awkward journey, when you have disposed of your old self, and have given birth to the new you, it is all so worth it!!!
|Andre, our second child (the baby above too) born on Oct. 23, 2007. :)|
Isaiah 43:18-19 part. “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?"
Bahagi ng Isaias 43:
18 Huwag ninyong alalahanin ang mga dating bagay, o bulayin man ang mga bagay ng una.
19 Narito, ako'y gagawa ng bagong bagay; ngayon yao'y lalabas; hindi baga ninyo malalaman yaon?
May we all be richly blessed!!!! :)