Christian Submission -- A Word Hijacked by the Enemy (Think 50 Shades of Grey)

The book is now a movie! Yikes.

Just a few short weeks after I started submitting to my husband, sometime in September last year (2013), he made this statement which made my heart leap:

“I am enjoying this, whatever it is you are doing.

I am reaping all its benefits.

I wish for more married couples to experience this.”

Well, that "this" is BIBLICAL SUBMISSION.

Dong had no idea at that time, just what I was doing, but it made a great impact on him, so much so that he encouraged me to start a ministry on it, even when he (or I for that matter!) still did not know what exactly I was up to! He said, 

"I want you to blog about your journey.

Write your own version of the Peacefulwife’s blog for the Philippines.

Our country is in dire need of role models to follow.

I am sick and tired too of hearing about husbands and fathers saying that the worst thing that can happen to a man is to get married and have kids.

Why do most men feel that way?

Shouldn’t we feel happy that we got married and have children?"

* * * * * * *

Submission.

In this day and age...

A scary word for some.

A stupid word for most.

An exciting and kinky word for others.

Think Christian Grey.

Think "50 Shades of Grey". (I am hoping you did not get to read it, but for those who did, well... okay, think about it for a moment.)

For sure, when I say the word "submission", the wife who has read this evil book will think "Dominant" and "Submissive", will recall the "Red Room of Pain", and will remember the "hunky and handsome" lead character, Christian Grey, who was ANYTHING but Christian.

And, there you have it... 

The enemy has hijacked not only the word, 'Christian', but the word, 'submission', as well. Two birds with one stone. Satan had single-handedly turned good into evil. He had managed to twist something beautiful into something perverted!

2 Corinthians 11

And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.

I was curious as to why many were raving over this raunchy novel. Some said there were steamy scenes in it, but I never thought it was a pornographic book pretending to be a novel!

I perused it briefly and sped-read, but disposed of it immediately. I regret having read it. :(  

I would be a hypocrite if I'd say I didn't get affected by it. In fact, it made my face flush and my heart beat faster! It was scandalous. The writing and the content was awful though, in my view. :(

I honestly got scared out of my wits by the implication of this horrible book.

I used to think that "there was nothing wrong" with reading "novels" such as these (romance and the like), being the kind of woman that needed lots of mental stimulation in order to "get in the mood".  I felt that if I read these kinds of books, that I would be "better" in the marital bed. Sort of like "the end justifies the means."  Dong would greatly "benefit" from my feeling frisky, if I read these kinds of trashy stuff, right?

WRONG.

Galatians 5:19

19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: 

sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality

God is a God of Perfect Timing, and the devil is prowling like a roaring lion at all times, waiting for someone to devour (1 Pet 5:8). I got a copy of this book just three days after I had already let go and let God, and submitted to my husband as unto the Lord, in EVERYTHING (Of course, except in sinning! God trumps over Dong on any given day!). And timing of timings, I read about this kind of evil submission! (I do not know why I even read it in the first place, but I was just a baby in my respect and submission journey at that time, so I was still prone to being foolish and clueless.) Despite my having given in to temptation by reading this book, the Lord showed me through the error of my ways, what godly (holy) submission really was as opposed to worldly (godless) submission.

A selfie of my selfish self -2011 before God changed me.
I saw nothing wrong
 with dressing immodestly
or reading or viewing trashy stuff. :(

I was so bothered by it, that I wrote in my journal this entry:

September 4, 2013

Christian Grey. Fifty Shades of Grey. A piece of filthy trash.

It’s a book on masochism, sadism, kinky sex, dominance and submission…

 Funny how I am actually just learning on being a submissive wife, and this book comes along. Truly not submissive in the Christian sense of the word.

Submissive as in, the man is the Dominant, the woman is the Submissive.

It all pertains to sex, sex, sex. F***, f***, f***.

I fear for the youth of today who will read this book. It will create a whole new era of sexually perverted, immoral people.

________________________________________________________________________________

I consider myself a bit frigid. (Haha! Too much info, but I have to say this!)

Dong thinks I should let loose more in this area. (a LOOOOOT more loose)

If I could, I would not engage in the marital act ever, be content with snuggling and holding hands, and still be totally fine with my love for Dong!  (Of course, I don't have credibility in this statement, given that I have given birth to four babies -- one baby, every three years since 2004 -- but believe me you, 3 out of the 4 were surprise babies given by God! Only one was "planned.")

However, my husband is a man. (Thank God!) And he has a libido and sexual urges far greater than I have. And he needs me, all of me, even and especially in the marital bed. (Men feel loved when we get intimate with them.)

We were fooling around with the camera (not with each other!)
at this time. - 2010 

What do I do now? 

How do I increase my libido?

By reading trashy pornographic novels such as these?

NOPE.

I do it by practicing BIBLICAL SUBMISSION.

How? 

Not by being strapped and chained to the bed, while being spanked! Yikes!!! 

I submit to God in everything, and then, I submit to my husband, Dong, as my leader in the marriage.

In layman's terms:

Biblically submissive
wife - Jan 2014

- I treat him with respect.

- I follow his leadings.

- I encourage his leadership.

- I support him in his endeavors.

- I respect his God-ordained authority over me.

- I do not nag, criticize, nor dictate to him what to do.

- I trust that God is leading me through my husband's decisions.

- I rest in God's Sovereignty, knowing that no matter what Dong's decisions may be, as long as I cover him in prayer and have faith in God, His Will will be manifested through my imperfect and flawed husband.

This is ultimately about trusting in God.

In trusting Him and letting go of my desire to control my husband and our lives, I am ultimately saying, "Lord, whatever happens, I know that You've got our backs covered. You are in control." 

This is the commandment the Lord gave to us wives:

Ephesians 5:22-24
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

and

1 Corinthians 11:3
3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife[a] is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

And since I now follow Jesus Christ and all His Teachings (or at least do my very best!), in my submission to God, then to my husband, I am now following too what Christ said to wives (and husbands too!) regarding marital/sexual relations.

1 Corinthians 7:5

Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

and

Our bedroom

1 Corinthians 7:4

The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

* * * * * * * *

I am sure that if you interview Dong right now, he will say that I have "improved" in this area, but that I still have a lot of yielding to do. Haha! God knows though, that since I started biblical submission, I have "leveled up" in this area!

                              LOL!

_______________________________________________________________________________

Biblical Submission is not a new concept, nor is it "just" a human concept. All throughout the Bible, godly people submitted to God, in obedience to His Will. The whole Holy Family submitted themselves to God:

Mama Mary submitted (even if she was unmarried and very young at the age 14).

The Holy Family was submissive to
the Father's Holy Will.

Luke 1:38

And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. 

Papa Joseph submitted despite the very odd circumstances he found himself in (Mary was impregnated by the power of the Holy Spirit, while they were not yet married!)

Matthew 1:24

When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.

If Jesus' earthly mother submitted and His earthly father also submitted to God; it is not surprising that Jesus, the Son of God, submitted completely to His Heavenly Father, too. 

Philippians 2:5-9

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name,

_____________________________________________________

Jesus submitted COMPLETELY to His Father's Will, even if He was already God.

Is it too much to ask that we, who are but humans, submit too, to the Father's Will within our marriages?

Do we profess to be Christians? 

Then, let's stop making excuses anymore. Let go and let God! 

Biblical Submission is beautiful. 

It is freeing. 

It is liberating. 

It is God's Design for Marriage. :)

If the enemy has hijacked the godly words of 'Christian' and 'Submission', 

let's reclaim them in Jesus' Name! 

God's Will is always GOOD and PERFECT. There are no gray (or Grey) areas about it. ;)

Oh, and sex is sacred. 
Let's not desecrate the act. It was designed by God to be done ONLY within the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony (not before it, and not outside of it -- 
We waited till our wedding night to do "it".).

Hebrews 13:4 
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled.

May we all be richly blessed! :)

P.S. I am realizing how unpopular I am becoming by posting such unpopular thoughts, teachings and doctrines. But, I write not for myself but for God, so "bato-bato sa langit, tamaan ay wag magalit." It is far easier to shut up, but I long for every wife to be able to surrender their all to God, and so if I need to discuss and tackle contrary-to-the-world topics, then so be it. Don't just get mad at me, get convicted by the Spirit.  God loves you, dear sister in Christ. He is calling you NOW. If today you hear His Voice, harden not your heart.

Read also: Fifty Shades of Evil

Husband-Bashing -- Wives' Favorite Pastime

           

With my brother in law, Jojo A. Even if he is already talkative for a man, being a talk show host; by virtue of
my being a woman, I can out-talk him on any single day, if I want to! ;)

Researchers say that the average person has about 50,000 THOUGHTS per day.

Researchers say too, that women speak at an average of 20,000 words daily compared to
only 7,000 words for men. 

This means, that on the average, 
women talk nearly three times as much as men!

This means that out of the 50,000 thoughts people have in their minds per day, 
women speak out 20,000 words (30,000 +/- thoughts remain unspoken)
while men speak out only 7,000 words (43,000 +/- thoughts remain unspoken).

This means, by far, women out-talk men on any given day.

We are BIG talkers!!!!

But what do we talk about, really?!?

______________________________________________________________

Dong loves talking to me about sports!

I am a woman and I can out-talk Dong on any given day. Most of the time, we talk about God, the Bible and my Theology classes. Oftentimes, we talk about the children. Sometimes, we talk about movies, video games, sports, news and other people... On the rare occasions in the past, when I was a rebellious and unsubmissive wife, we talked about our hurts and pains towards each other. Now, that kind of talk was painful and emotionally charged!

He is my best friend, so I find myself wanting to talk to Dong more than any other human being! I can talk to him forever! I can also just be silent with him, while holding hands, forever!

But, I enjoy talking too with my girl friends!!! 

I enjoy listening to my friends talk about their lives. - Jan 2014

Being a woman, nobody understands the female psyche more than a fellow woman.
 It takes one to know one.

And so I know, that women can be chatty, catty, and nasty. 

Aside from talking about other women, we usually find ourselves talking about our husbands. In most occasions, the talk can get downright disrespectful, and what is surprising is that we women actually seem to enjoy this kind of berating talk! 

I know, because before the Lord convicted me of my sins, 

I joined in the "fun."

A lunch date with my Filipina Homebakers Online friends - May 2014

Sure, I never talked badly about Dong behind his back (not because I had nothing to say, but because I was putting up a front that all was well, when in fact I too was very self-righteous and condescending towards him, before the Lord showed me my monumental sins!), but I laughed with my friends and sided with them, and joined them in their husband-bashing. It was "enjoyable" then, before I realized how totally sinful and pathetic it really was. :(

Sad to say, husband-bashing is the favorite pastime of wives. And what is even sadder is that we see nothing wrong with it! 

But what did the Lord say regarding this matter?

Ephesians 4:29

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

While it may be true that one's husband is errant, irresponsible or unfaithful, for such is the sad state of affairs in this fallen world; it does not solve anything by tearing him down in front of others. It is one thing to want to seek advice to heal the marriage, and in that desire, one has to divulge a not so flattering picture of one's husband; but it's another thing to just tear him down to pieces in front of one's girl friends where he will surely be pronounced: "Guilty as Charged"! He is not there to defend himself, and we are only hearing one side of the story!

Really, ladies, what do we gain by tearing down our men?

Do we feel more righteous, more holy, more entitled to our hurts and disappointments, than our husbands?

Do we feel that telling people about our husbands' faults makes us appear better and wiser in their eyes?

Do we feel that maligning our husbands' names somehow alleviates us of our pains?

What do we want to achieve, really, with all this 

husband-bashing? :(

While it is wonderful to have ready ears to listen to us while we rant, we should also be wary of putting down our husbands, our God-ordained leaders, in front of friends who will be looking down on them with great disrespect or mock our husbands in their minds, once we are done with our oh-so-juicy stories.

I am not asking that we lie about our husbands (or pretend like I did that nothing was wrong!), but I am asking that we hold every one of those 50,000 thoughts captive and make all of them obedient to Christ, in order for our tongue to utter ONLY (20,000) kind words about not just our husbands, but others as well.

2 Corinthians 10:5

5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Matthew 12:36
36 I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,

James 1:26
26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 We are all sinners. Men and women alike. 

Romans 3:10

As the Scriptures say, "No one is righteous--not even one.

Men are not "more" sinful than us. In God's eyes, sin is sin, and we ALL fall short.

Were it not for God's Grace and Mercy, we would ALL be rotting in hell.

But, God loves us SO very MUCH!

With my closest college buddy, Yeng - July 2014

Romans 5:8

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

We were ALL bought for a price. That's why we are so precious in God's Eyes!

1 Cor 6:20

You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Conversation over coffee - Feb 2012

Jesus died for ALL of us - men and women alike. 

Jesus ALSO died for that lazy, irresponsible and philandering husband of yours too 

(whether you believe it or not)!

The way to lead your husband back to God and to make him repent of his sins is not by looking down on him or nagging him; but by encouraging him, loving him, and respecting him --- starting with what comes out of your mouth, in the company of other women.

Tell God about your husband's faults and failures. Then let God do His Work. We can never change another human being. It's the Holy Spirit's Job to convict and to change people. Last time I checked, we are all still but humans, and God is still God. ;)

We can never achieve a great and godly marriage if we continue with this demeaning and totally unChristian pastime of husband-bashing (or any kind of bashing for that matter!). 

It is offensive to God. 
It is sinful in His Eyes. 

Instead, let us do what the olden women of times past did in order to save their errant spouses, that is:

With my closest friends from my baking group - 2011

1 Peter 3:1-5

3 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 

We are called to win over our husbands without the 20,000 words we are wont to spurt out daily. 

Stop the bashing, start respecting!

We are called to win them over by our pure and reverent behavior (without a word). 

This is a clear case of when "TALK IS CHEAP" and "SILENCE IS GOLDEN"

 (but not stony or icy silence!!!).

Wives, let's stop the husband-bashing!!!

Let's start focusing on our own sins and how we can repent of them, instead of always pointing an accusing finger towards our spouses.

Remember, 

  "JUST BECAUSE WE CAN POINT OUT ALL THEIR FAULTS DOES NOT MAKE US SAINTS." 

In fact, it's the opposite. It makes us judges and jurors. 
And the Lord clearly opposes this, for those roles are His and His alone.

Luke 6:37

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

May we all be richly blessed! :)