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Sunday, January 12, 2014

Submission -- The Road Least Traveled

Andre in "traffic" (inside our gate) - 2010

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."
                                                                       -Robert Frost

If I were to apply this famous quote by Robert Frost to my submission journey now, I would say, that the road I am treading on is THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED. In fact, previous to submitting to my husband, I did not know anybody who was in the same predicament as I was. I thought I was going it alone.

It was only when I found April Cassidy's blog, The Peaceful Wife, a few short weeks after I let go of all desires to control and let God take the reins, that I was delighted to find fellow Type A wives, who have also died to themselves, submitted to God and their husbands, and were then experiencing great joy and peace in their lives.

We are a small group of women. It is sad that the world has been inundated with false teachings and feminist ideologies that seem to not only have tried to remove the "feminine" in feminist, but also have succeeded in producing more and more emasculated men. 

This submission journey is the road less traveled. It also is an exciting one. Scary at first because letting go of control was like jumping off a cliff (!), but it was and is so freeing and liberating. I wouldn't go back to my former controlling, worrisome self even if you paid me  1,000,000 dollars or 44,690,000 Philippine pesos (inflation!) to do so.

Speaking of roads, has a very good analogy regarding submission. Allow me to share. :)

Let us see how this (submission) works in life by using an analogy of a road for life and junctions in the road for each of life's decision points of choices.  
Photo Credits:

The married man and woman set off walking along the road of life and at each junction they choose which road to take next.  Sooner or later they will arrive at a junction where they each desire to take a different road and hence there is a disagreement:

Quarreling Couple
In the disharmonious family there is a quarrel, there is cajoling or bullying, there is intimidation and bitter words.  The quarrel might last for the rest of their lives with neither giving ground and thus they never move on or, finally, either the husband and wife continue along one road together with one of them feeling resentful and both of them feeling bruised and wary of the other, or if they could not even obtain an unpleasant agreement then the marriage might simply fall apart and they separate, each taking a different road.  None of these outcomes is pleasant or desirable. 

Family Trip to Zambales - 2011
When a submissive woman finds that her wishes conflict with those of her husband she has little or nothing to fearIf her husband is respectful then they will discuss the matter together agreeably, frankly and cheerfully and through the discussion they might reach either a compromise or one of them might change their mind completely and accept the other person's wishes.  If this happens then they can then continue along the road they have now agreed upon with no sense of bitterness and without having expressed any angry words. 

 However agreement might not be reached so then what?  If they cannot reach agreement then the submissive wife needs only to obey her husband and accept his wishes graciously.  Having done this there are now only a few possible outcomes, all of which have positive aspects and none of which is particularly terrible.  

1 ) First possible outcome:

They will take the road the husband selects and, in due course they will discover that they have chosen a good route through life and both will be happy.  :)

Trip to Baguio City - 2006

2) Second possible outcome:

They will take the road the husband selects but, in due course, they discover that it was not such a good choice after all.  All they do is turn around, go back to the junction and take a different road; there has been no need for argument, nobody has felt disrespected or belittled and they have not bruised one another.  Although the husband's choice turned out to be a bad
Pampanga Trip - 2010
one, they have discovered the mistake together, discovered it quickly, and swiftly got back onto a better road and, in the process, they have strengthened their bond by having been able to disagree with dignity and mutual respect.  They are not stuck in a perpetual argument at the junction, they have not separated and the process of finding a mutually acceptable road has not weakened their marriage.

If the submissive woman has a husband who is not respectful and who is inclined to abuse her gift of submissive then still she has little to fear.  

3) The 'worst' possible outcome:

They will travel a bad road together until the next junction.  Although the road might be bad it is good to remember the positive aspects of the situation:  
My husband about to dive! :) - 2010
They have still remained together, they have kept alive the possibility of improving their relationship as they make their way through the troubles of life, they have not wasted time and damaged one another in a bitter quarrel and they are not still standing at the junction locked in argument.  They have moved on, and therefore given themselves the hope of another choice later.  This, remember, is the worst possible outcome.  Even with a selfish husband it is still possible that he will acknowledge that the road is bad and that they will turn back to take another route.
Our handy old van (that needs to be fixed right now!) - 2010

I have mentioned this example of a road journey to try and illustrate that submission can bring real and worthwhile benefits to a marriage.  The scripture also indicates that the act of submission by a woman is able to influence a bad man to change his ways but even if he doesn't change, her choice of submission will still allow her to avoid the worst of the possible problems that a bad marriage and husband might bring.

It is not popular these days in any culture or country to practice "submissiveness." People get so vile and riled up just talking about it! Especially those who have never seen godly role models to demonstrate it.

However, God's Ways are not Man's Ways. 
Jan 2014

                                        Isaiah 55:8-9

  8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

It also may not be popular now but it doesn't make it any less TRUE.

The WAY to heaven is ONLY through Jesus.

                                                           John 14:6

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

And the way to be a TRUE disciple of Jesus is to obey His Teachings.

                                                John 14:15

                       If you love me, obey my commandments

As Christian wives, we are obeying this commandment:

The submission route is the unpopular route. It is the road LEAST TRAVELED, if I may so myself. Nobody wants to take that road. It seems outmoded, old-fashioned, archaic, counter-cultural, counter-intuitive, and all the other 'negative' adjectives you can affix to it.

BUT in reality, this road is actually wonderful, exciting, fulfilling, joyful, liberating and peaceful. :) The deal is you have to tread it to experience all those wonderful adjectives I just wrote. :)
You have to travel it to believe it. :)
Family pic with my son Andre making faces.:) - Jan 2014

April always says that in this road that we are treading we need to have " a marathon kind of mentality, not a sprint.  It is a long process of learning and we will be human and make mistakes and then we’ll learn from those mistakes and do better. "

January 10, 2014

I am glad and honored to be traveling this road to submission. This is my pathway to Heaven. :)

"Many roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one least traveled by, and that has made all the difference."                                           - Mrs. Veronica Cleofe-Alejar :)

May we all be richly blessed! :)

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