Keeping Still at My Husband's "Leadership Seminar"

Sitting on a park bench - 2012

Keeping Still.

Waiting.

Peaceful Nikka. It seems like an oxymoron! I don't feel as though peaceful can be put in one phrase with Nikka!

Keeping still on an exercise ball while 8 months pregnant with our 3rd -- 2010

Belly Dancing Class - 2005

Anyone who knew or knows me, can attest that I am a bundle of energy! I am always doing so many things all at once. I like being uber-busy. I enjoy multi-tasking. I like being all over the place. Spreading myself too thin was my way of life.

So now that I am in my respect journey, with me following and not leading, I admit I feel

Conducting a Career Talk at OLOPS- 2011

antsy. I am using ALL MY ENERGY to keep still. I never knew how much harder it was to keep still than moving in all directions!!!

I liken this season of my life to a "LEADERSHIP SEMINAR." However, I am not its participant -- my husband is. I am just here to encourage him.

When I was in Grade School and High School, I was an officer school year after school year. We had these leadership seminars wherein we were taught how to be good leaders. I don't remember any of it, to be honest, but if there is one thing to remember it was that "to be a good leader, one must be a good follower."

My High School Classmates with some Teachers at a Reunion - 1995

One cannot make classmates stay quiet by being noisy.

One cannot make classmates tidy up the classroom by being messy.



In short, one must lead by example.

At a young age, I have been taught how it was to be a good leader.
At 38 years old, I am now learning how to be a good follower.

Doing a Cheesecakes Demo - Aug 2011

It is not easy. I am so used to doing things MY WAY. I am so used to leading and not following. I am so used to moving on my own and deciding without consulting...

But, this is the only true path to peace that I know of. 

I have done all those leadership stuff in almost all our years as husband and wife and whereas, in the classroom, my leadership qualities would have put some semblance of order in it; in a Christian marriage, being the LEADER, when as a wife, one should very well just be the FOLLOWER, created CHAOS, DISORDER, BITTERNESS and RESENTMENT.

At this season in my life, I have relinquished the role of 'LEADER'. In this season of my life, I am learning to be a 'FOLLOWER.' 

I reiterate: A good leader, they say, is a good follower.

In marriage, a wife who is a good follower to her husband makes him a better leader.

Dong and Nikka Wedding, Dela Strada Parish - April 17, 2004

This is the ULTIMATE TEST of my FAITH that I have to undergo and pass. 

That is:

DO I TRUST GOD TO BE ABLE TO LEAD MY HUSBAND IN WHAT IS BEST FOR ME AND MY FAMILY?

My husband is currently in his "leadership seminar."
My "submission" to him is my way of empowering that leadership.
My "submissive spirit" is my ultimate gift to my husband and to God.

Keeping still is hard.

Waiting is wearisome.

However, when we know WHY we are keeping still and WHO we are waiting for, everything becomes not just bearable but joyful and peaceful. :)

 




My prayer is that fellow wives will find it in their hearts to humble themselves, give up their desire to lead their families, and take on their God-ordained roles joyfully, that is, as helpmeets and followers of their husbands, in order that God be glorified!

May we all be richly blessed! :)