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Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Mind Your Own Business

I minded my own defunct news program, Teledyaryo Business hehe :) - February 2012

Minding our own business is not easy.

In fact, it is a thin line between genuine concern and meddlesome nosiness.

When do you act and react, and when do you just turn a blind eye on something or to someone?

We always have a "say" in the concerns of others, whether we'd care to admit or not.

"If only so-and-so did not push through with that business venture, they would still be rich today!"

"If so-and-so started practicing birth control, they would not have nine starving children now!"

"If I were so-and-so, I would not have married that guy. He is beneath her in status and education."

And the list goes on...

When we delve into other people's lives or businesses, we risk being:

  • arrogant
  • judgmental
  • self-righteous
When we talk about other people's lives or businesses, we risk spreading:
  • gossips
  • scandals
  • lies

And yet it is SO TEMPTING to give other people a piece of our mind, not that they want any piece of it!

What does the Bible say about MINDING OUR OWN BUSINESS?


                                    1Thessalonians 4:11

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.

                                   1 Tesalonia 4:11

 At pagaralan ninyong maging matahimik, at gawin ang inyong sariling gawain, at kayo'y mangagpagal ng inyong sariling mga kamay, na gaya ng aming ipinagbilin sa inyo.

How do we resist the temptation of minding other people's businesses? Based on this Bible verse, we should:

  • Try our best to be quiet or to live a quiet life.

  • Mind our own business or not meddle in other people's affairs;   AND

  • Work with our hands or be busy.

I used to be "overly concerned" with other people's affairs to the point of intrusion. I felt that I was just "being helpful", when in fact, I was just being meddlesome (pakielamera).

There was even a time in my early adulthood that I enjoyed acting as mediator in matters that were NOT my concern. I felt that I was being kind by being a "peacemaker". What I was doing was pure old-fashioned not minding my own business. It just made me feel special and I liked being in on each party's juicy tale. Good thing, nothing really bad befell me!
Arf! Arf! Grrrroowwlll! 

                                           Proverbs 26:17

Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears.

                     MGA KAWIKAAN 26:17
Ang nagdaraan, at nakikialam sa pagaaway na hindi ukol sa kaniya, ay gaya ng humahawak ng aso sa mga  tainga.

I surely do not want to be bitten by a canine! Or in human-speak, I surely do not want to be caught in the middle of a fight!

One good development in my life was that even before my submission journey, I have already been quite wary of putting my nose in other people's lives. I figured, I did not want them to meddle in MY life, so I would also keep out of theirs. I did my best to practice The Golden Rule.

I also have been practicing  "being quick in judging myself and being slow in judging others." It's best to not second-guess other people's actions, reactions or motivations; and to always, always give them the benefit of the doubt.

Though I gained much ground in not putting my nose in other people's affairs, it was not so easy minding my own business when it came to my own dear husband.

I felt it my responsibility to change him!

Like most women, I wanted to "fix" him.
This led to great frustration and conflict. :(

Focusing on my husband took off the focus on my OWN WALK WITH THE LORD.

The fact was I could  NOT change my husband's heart but I could cooperate with the Holy Spirit for Him to change my own heart.

When I was too busy trying to correct the perceived faults and flaws of Dong (i.e. he was too laidback, he was too demotivated, he was lacking in direction, etc, etc, etc!), I was not minding my own business. To change him was clearly not my responsibility, and finding little or no positive development in my efforts made me resentful of Dong and (dare I say it) God.
My sleeping husband, Dong

I felt that God was not answering my prayers!!!!

At a Mommy hosting event with 3rd baby, Reuben - 2010
Because I got too impatient waiting for God to change Dong, give or take a year before I began my submission journey in September 2013, I begrudgingly decided to mind my own business. (Good girl!)

That was when I told God to search my heart. I realized that I could not change Dong no matter how great a cheerleader I felt myself to be, so I said to Him:

"Lord, help me please. If I could not change him, at least change how I view our situation. Help me to see only the positive."

That was to be the beginning of the stirrings of the Holy Spirit in my spirit. That was enough for God to work Big-Time in my heart. :)

See what happens when we do not play God? He comes to our rescue!!!

When we mind our own business and not try to vie for His Job, God is able to do what He needs to do. And at this point in my respect journey, I am EXTREMELY EXCITED over what He is doing and will still do with me, with Dong, with and within our marriage. His Work has only just begun! :)


May we all be richly blessed! :)

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