|Ito Ang Balita newscast with my co-anchors - 2012|
|Screenshot of my daily business newscast|
at PTV,the government network,
'Money Matters' - 2009
Previous to that, I was also gainfully employed with the government network as a newscaster and TV host, for on-and-off more than a decade. (I usually took time off when I was pregnant or have just given birth.) I was a career woman; a working girl... and for the most part, I enjoyed it and reveled in it. Talents and skills were gifts of God after all, and I made sure that I did my 110% best in whatever job that was thrown my way! My employers and co-workers praised me for my "commendable work ethic" and ability to "shine" in any project given me. That stroked my ego sooooo much! I felt so validated!
|Poor Reece. Mommy usually had no energy|
to tutor her and so she got cranky and snapped
at her before. :(
When I was home, drained of all my energy by the end of the day, I got short-tempered with my children when they could not understand a simple school assignment. I had no patience or strength to wait for them to "get" it. I snapped at them often while my eyelids drooped from exhaustion. I felt it "justifiable" to get irked at them because I was working for them anyway. All my hard work was for them, right?
But of course, God knew better. It was more for me, myself and I, than it was for them. Money-wise, YES, but the "fame", the "adulation", the "prestige"... NO. It was all for me and my insatiable desire to "matter."
|Winning the Anak TV award - Dec 2012|
1 Samuel 16:7 part
Being "just" a mother and a wife were not enough. I needed to be busy to fill up a void in my soul. I needed to be deemed "worthy", and work did that for me. I desired the world's accolades. My husband's and children's praises did not count. :(
Half a century ago, a handful of determined women set out to achieve a philosophical and cultural revolution. Convinced that women needed to throw off the shackles of male oppression, they wrote books, published articles, taught college courses, marched in the streets, lobbied Congress, and in myriad ways succeeded in capturing the minds and hearts of millions of women.They redefined what it means to be a woman and tossed out widely held views of a woman's priorities and mission in life. Concepts such as virtue, chastity, discretion, domesticity, submission and modesty were largely eliminated from the vocabulary, and replaced with choice, divorce, infidelity and unisex lifestyles. The daughters and granddaughters of that generation have never known any other way of thinking.
One of the most devastating objectives and effects of this "new" view of womanhood has been to demean marriage and motherhood and to move women -- both physically and emotionally -- out of their homes and into the workforce.
Statistics indicate that the gender gap has narrowed dramatically in matters of hiring practices, pay scales, and educational opportunities -- results that activists have worked long and hard to achieve. But what about the unintended consequences of this newfound freedom? Whoever expected we would have to live with such things as...
- pressure placed on women by their peers to "do more" than be "just a wife and mother";
- the status of a "homemaker" being devalued to something less than that of a serf;
- millions of children coming home from school to empty houses or being relegated to after-school child care programs; (or in the case of the Philippines, being left to be "brought up" by live-in yayas or nannies);
- mothers giving their best energy and time to persons other than their husbands and children, leaving those women perpetually exhausted and edgy;
- families that seldom sit down and have a meal together;
- emotional and physical affairs being fanned by married women spending more quaity time with men at work that they do with their own husbands;
- women who don't have time or energy to cultivate a close relationship with their children and who end up permanently estranged from their grown children;
- inadequately supervised children becoming exposed to and lured into pornography, alcohol, drugs, sex and violence.
|Our longtime nanny, Ate Sepa, with our second child Andre |
in one of her visits - 2007
|Mama was the TV director for the longest-running children's show |
on TV, Pen Pen de Sarapen. I was one of the hosts and
voice over announcers. - 1991
This kind of "marriage peg" that I witnessed growing up made me believe that it was "normal" and "natural" for both our parents to always be out and for us to always be left with our nanny. They were also too busy with their careers, they had not much time for each other!
Especially vivid in my impressionable mind was my Mama's passion for her TV career. She would leave us for long stretches of time to attend conferences abroad; she would come home very late from tapings and not lift a finger to do housework or attend to my father because she was almost always already very tired. The most "fun" she had was when she was in her workplace. She was the "life of the party" and so it was not surprising that she was sorely missed when she passed away due to cancer at the young age of 43 by her officemates, whom she considered her "family". Her candle burned out too soon. :(
|'Pilipinas Ngayon Na' was a weekly public service program |
of mine for the government network in 2006.
Mama was my "peg" in terms of what I wanted to happen with my career. Whereas she worked behind the scenes as a TV director/producer, I wanted to work on-camera as a TV host and newscaster. I was willing to spend long hours in pursuing my dream of becoming established in my field, like she had done in hers. My only contention was I would not permit out-of-town shoots, out-of-the-country coverages, or work that would take me away from my children for long periods of time. I was traumatized by Mama's excessive traveling. I did not want my children to suffer the same "fate". :(
|In an events hosting for Philips - 2008|
Early in our marriage, I was a happy and contented housewife and homemaker following my "demonic possession". But the desire to achieve and make something out of myself beckoned. Later on, opportunities arose that allowed me to do just that. I was fulfilled with all my shows. I loved being in the limelight. I had great fun maximizing my potentials... but they were still not enough. :(
There would be days when I felt that life had no meaning.
|Our happy and lovely kids :)|
|Singing at the Big Dome in 2012|
In determining our priorities as Christian women, we must first ask: Why did God make women? What is His Purpose and Mission for our lives? The Word of God provides women of every generation and culture with the Truth about our created purpose and primary role and calling. When we embrace the Truth and establish our priorities and schedules around it, we experience true liberation.
In Genesis 2:18 we find the first and clearest statement of why God created the woman:
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
There you have it -- God created the woman to be a helper to the man -- to complete him, to be suited to his needs. Her life was to be centered on his, not his on hers. She was made from the man, made for the man, and given as God's gift to the man. Her relationship with her husband was the first and primary sphere in which she was to move and serve. Her husband was responsible to work to provide for their material needs. She was to be his helper and companion in reflecting the image of God, taking dominion over the earth and reproducing a godly seed.
Together they were to populate the earth with future generations of men and women who would love God and seek to fulfill His purposes in the world. The woman was uniquely designed and equipped -- physiologically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually -- by her Creator to be a bearer and nurturer of life. In a multitude of ways, she was endowed with the ability to add life, beauty, richness, fullness, grace and joy to the family unit.
There is no greater measure of her worth or success as a woman than the extent to which she serves as the heart of the home.
The Scripture is clear that a married woman's life and ministry are to be centered in her home. This is not to suggest that it is necessarily wrong for a wife and mother to have a job outside her home -- unless that job in any way competes with or diminishes her effectiveness in fulfilling her primary calling at home. Further, it is important for women to evaluate their reason(s) for working outside their home and to identify the deception behind those reasons.
When I evaluated my reasons for working, I realized that they were all from deceptions by the evil one:
- If I didn't work, my children would go hungry because Dong could not provide for them the way I could!
- If I didn't work, people would forget about me and in this (broadcasting) industry, you were only as good as your last project or show!
- If I didn't work, people would view me as a "failure" since I would "just" be a wife and mother. That's not exactly worth boasting about. It's so easy to be "just" a wife and mother but difficult to be "somebody" in the field of journalism!
- If I didn't work, I would be doing God a disservice because He showered me with so many talents and capabilities. Surely, He did not give me those to just "waste" them at home!
- etc. etc.
|D-Day for 4th baby, |
At hospital elevator :)
April 17, 2013
|With one of my edible creations for Veronica's|
Kitchen, our home bakeshop. :)
As an update, I have some broadcasting voice-over sidelines, and am busy with my home-based bakeshop, Veronica's Kitchen, but those are just my "sidelines". I am helping augment the family's income like the Proverbs 31 woman, while not losing sight of my real role in our home -- that of my husband's partner and our children's nurturer.
|Isabelle Veronica :) - Feb 20 , 2014|
- What I am "busy" with is being my husband's supporter and helper while he works towards achieving his plans for the family.
- What I am busy with is being our children, and being Therese and Andre's "driver" to and from school as well as their tutor in all their lessons.
- What I am busy with is attending to and disciplining our third child Reuben (whom I nearly neglected from being too busy before!) who is in his Terrible Three's phase, so that he does not grow up spoiled.
- What I am busy with is breastfeeding our little one, 10 months old Isabelle, so she will be healthy and strong.
- What I am busy with is cleaning our house, cooking our meals and making sure my husband and children come home to a neat and homey abode. (We have let go of one helper -- we used to have two -- in order for us to save on expenses and for me to be a full-time housewife and hands-on mother to our kids.)
|I am the "boss" in this kitchen! ;)|
17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
|It's a joy to be unknown and still feel |
that I matter.:)
Not to say that I won't go back to working ever again, but simply knowing my true calling and my real role in the family, I could now choose jobs that do not go against my (God-ordained) priorities. I could also now choose jobs that would not steal much of my time from my family. I used to choose "blindly" because of my bottomless desire to "matter" or to be deemed as "somebody", even when it was at the expense of my growing family. :(
|Always "made up" - 2012|
But, if the Lord so wills that I be back in the "limelight" again for His Greater Glory, I will follow Him. He can do with me as He pleases. But for now, if the Lord allows, I just want to be away from everything that has to do with going on-camera or putting on makeup. :) I get enough of my creative juices flowing by blogging. (God designed me to be creative -- whether by appearing before the public or through writing. Writing gives me fulfillment while at the same time, allows me to reach out to others because of my ministry towards fellow wives.:) But if the Lord "orders" me to stop writing for this blog, I will drop it instantly. It's all about Him and His Will... even if it makes me "happy."
In ending, to the question: "The Working Woman's Dilemma -- What Should I Choose -- Home or Career?", my answer is:
By virtue of marriage and motherhood, a woman's place really is in the home. But, this does not mean that all women should simply quit their jobs and stay home. God does use women in the workplace for His Work too! We as women must be able to use our God-given talents for His Glory both at home and at the office.
|Our "yellow" and bright family :) - Feb 22, 2014|
| Our beautiful eldest, Therese, said:|
"Mommy I don't
want you to work. I love you!"