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Sunday, February 2, 2014

Little Miracles

Nikka and Dong - Before going to mass Feb 2, 2014

The three-part series on my depression, oppressionpossession, salvation and redemption in 2003 was quite heavy. So was the four-part series on my spiritual bondages with beauty, Papa, control, and how God destroyed all the devil's strongholds in 2013. Hooooh! That was migraine-inducing!

It made me recall how hellish that time was, how loving Dong was, and how good God was.

It also made me reflect some more on how blessed I am at this very moment. Right here. Right now.  As we speak, little miracles are happening to me and to us daily. :)

It was my husband who asked that I blog about my journey as a "peaceful wife" back in September 2013, a few short weeks after I let go of all my desires to control him and our lives, and when I let God rule in every area of my life, including and most especially, our marriage.

But, Dong does not read my blog. :)

He trusts that I will write what the Lord wants me to write in order to touch other wives' hearts, without the need to edit my posts or check for errors in consistency, relevance, or whatever.

He also doesn't like "peeking" so to speak in my personal life via this blog. As he said at the start of my submission journey when I asked him to read the Peaceful Wife's husband, Greg's 'The Respected Husband's' blog, that he would rather not read it because he didn't want our experience to be the same as somebody else's. He did not want to pattern our lives after another couple's life. And he did not want to diminish the merits of my changes in character to my being obedient to somebody's steps in becoming a submissive wife. In short, he wanted to be surprised or just enjoy my submissive spirit, one day at a time. He said reading about it would make my change of heart and change in actions seem "fake."

So, I am sort of "writing behind his back" hehe, although he gave me the go-signal to write. Suffice to say, none of the things I write are fake. Everything is genuine. :)

I will write today about the little miracles that I see are happening every day to our marriage and our family, since I submitted to my husband's leadership. :)

       1. We are going to church together again! :)

It used to be that it was only I who would attend or 'represent' us. (Note: I do not like forcing people to go to church because I believe one should attend not because it is an "obligation" or because one is afraid of "committing a mortal sin" (as what the Catholic church preaches) but because one loves God and wants to spend time with Him by communing with other believers.)

Nowadays, it is Dong who sometimes initiates. He is so supportive of my respect and submission journey and my new desire to read the Bible daily, that he even put an app on our computer for my daily Bible readings. :)

Accompanying Therese in her field trip - Jan 2014
2. We are talking about our faith and oppressions more these days! :)

There was actually never a time when we didn't talk about God. He is always our Favorite Topic and He is really alive in our conversations, even with the kids. It's always:

"God is so good, kids. He gave us money to buy you toys this week." or "The Lord will be sad with all your fighting, children. Be kind so God will be happy!"

But lately, and especially after my heartbreaking third interview with Dong, it seemed as though a huge load had been lifted off his shoulders and he feels like he could once again speak his heart out to me, including his fears.

He even asked that I pray for him because the enemy is oppressing him by paralyzing him in his plans for the family, by making him afraid of failure and scaring him of possible bad outcomes in his decisions.

That is but expected of the enemy because now that the Lord had already destroyed my bondages and I now want to follow Dong's leadership, the enemy will now work towards debilitating my husband by removing his faith in himself to lead. That way, even if I am already submissive to Dong, Dong will still be unable to move. I would then have nobody to follow. We are being played! Good thing we are aware of his evil schemes. We are praying for each other and not believing in his lies.

3. He craves for more intimacy these days too! ;)

I think this one is inevitable. ;) Minus all MY negativity, criticisms, worries and fears, all that is left are joy, acceptance, peace and love. Most husbands find those attractive in their wives! :)

I myself find my husband more handsome and charming these days.:) He has always been attractive in my eyes but during my most controlling years, I was too busy looking at his perceived flaws and failures that there was not much room to view his good qualities! :(

4. Our daughter Therese, a third grader, makes it to the TOP TEN of their class! :)

Our daughter barely speaks the native language, Filipino, having been brought up with
TOP TEN Therese! :)
English as her first language, so this is a BIG DEAL to us!!!:) Our daughter, whom at age 5 was told by her teachers to enroll at a language school because she could not speak clearly for her age, both in English and Filipino (which we refused because we believed that she would come out of her shell at her own pace) is now starting to BLOOM!

We feel so proud of her and we thank God for her! We are tickled pink by this development! :) Back when I was most busy with my career, I was so short-tempered with her when she would be unable to understand her lessons, and I was already too tired from working outside the home to wait for her to "get" the topic at hand. I would scream or flare up out of frustration, and she would cry out of fear of my reaction. :( After the Lord showed me my sins, I saw that this was an area of my life that I also needed to fix and repent for, among many, many others :(

Her success is my success too, because I tutor her now in all her lessons (now that I am a housewife and stay-at-home mom) with more patience, love, and understanding. :)

She also told me something a few months back, at the start of my submission journey. It made me teary-eyed. She said, "Mommy, I want to be a saint." I asked her, "What do you mean, my love?" She said, "Some people want to be scientists, or doctors or physicists... I want to be an expert on GMRC (Good Manners and Right Conduct). I want to be a saint." Sigh.
At Therese's First Holy Communion - Dec 2013

That's why I have started reading the Children's Bible to them and talking about Jesus and His Teachings. Therese is growing in her hunger for God at the young age of nine. She is well-behaved, demure, kind, and very wise for her age. I have no doubt that the Lord had to change her mother's heart (mine!) so that I could teach her to grow in the Lord's Ways. She is an answer to my prayer on our wedding night.

These are but some of the little miracles and happy developments in our lives, these days. My hunger for God's Word is growing too as the days pass... I consider myself a Catholic Christian or a Christian Catholic. :) Usually, Catholics (I know you'd agree with me!) are content with just going to church, reciting the rosary or doing novenas, but do not go out of their way to read God's Word or to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I still am a Catholic, but I now have added reading the Bible, to my daily prayer life. It is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, dear Catholic sisters in Christ!

Note: All Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholics. Actually, not all Catholics and Christians are 'Christians'  in that, just because you are born of a certain faith, you are not immediately 'assured' of salvation. One may just be a 'cultural Catholic' or a 'cultural Christian', without really knowing Christ. You really have to be Christ's follower and obey His Teachings, and believe that He is the Way, The Truth and The Life in order to be called a real Christian and in order to be truly "saved". Jesus died for us, yes, but we still have to accept Him into our lives as our Lord and Savior, and obey His Commandments. If we don't, our being 'Christian' is just in name and not in deed. There's a term for that -- nominal Catholics or nominal Christians.  
                                                  John 14:21
"Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them."
Our family at Isabelle Veronica's Baptism with Uncle Toby - Dec 29, 2013
However, I also would like to point out that I do not like labeling myself as 'Catholic'. The same way, I do not like it when Christians (Protestants or born-agains or other denominations) feel elitist over their being 'Christians'.

I do not enjoy debating on my faith or other people's faith.  

I feel that it is a waste of time, is full of self-love and pride, and only grieves God's Heart. Only He can see our hearts. Only He can judge our true motives. We have no right to judge other people's faith and relationship with God...  With all eyes directed towards our Creator, I believe that one day, someday, if we have really died to ourselves and followed in Jesus' Footsteps, we will all see each other again, this time, as ONE BODY in Christ.

                                         Ephesians 4:3-6

Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

I am not a theologian, so this is but my simple understanding of what God would like from us, His Children. :) 

                                            Matthew 18:3
"Then he said, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."

Mr. and Mrs. Dong Alejar with the little miracles, our 4 children -- September 2013 :)

May we all be richly blessed! :)



  1. Thank you so much for doing this blog. I appreciate your view as a wife who struggles with being controlling. I am also quite the Type A personality and can be quite the feminist if I am not careful. Thank you for sharing your experience so we can learn from it.
    I really appreciate your taking a stand on the issue of Catholicism/Protestantism/Christianity. I am Baptist and get so tired of the two sides saying you must go to there church to be a Christian. Neither side is all Christians. Thank you.
    And last- your headcoverings are beautiful. I also cover and you somehow always wear them with complete grace and coordination. :)
    Your Sister in Christ

  2. Hi Anonymous!

    I sometimes cringe when I am writing about my sins and faults but if I am to be a true witness to Christ, I cannot gloss over those. It's a blessing to be of help to you and to others who were/are of a similar 'profile' like me. :)

    As for taking a stand on the issue of Christianity, I felt that I had to say it out in the open. I am tired too of the 'debates' and the 'elitist mentality' of churches, even perhaps the Catholic church in which I belong. There is no ONLY religion or BEST religion. Religion is a means to reach God. If it is just to cause division, then I do not think that would please God, because it is aimed to make us closer to Him, not repel others by our prideful ways and holier-than-thou attitudes. All the debating and arguing is hogwash in my mind. Only God is the true judge of our faith and our relationship with Him. :)

    As for head covers, I really feel so at peace and protected when I wear them because I am reminded of my place in the home and my reverence before God. :) I am now collecting different bandanas of all colors to coordinate with my wardrobe.I am glad you are a fellow head-coverer. It just makes me feel closer to you all the more. Thanks for your comment, sister in Christ! :)

    God bless you all the days of your life. :)




Feel free to comment. I would love to discuss things with you. :)