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Monday, July 28, 2014

"Biblical Submission in this Day and Age is STUPID."

"Biblical submission in this day and age is STUPID to the modern (feminist) woman because the present setup says that men and women are "equal" in all things; or worse than that, that women are "better" than men, but they don't know the Wisdom behind God's Plan for men and women, especially within marriage.",
 is the complete thought that my husband Dong shared with me, over a cup of coffee, while waiting to pick up the kids from school. Gotcha on that one, huh? ;)

Let me reiterate that I have been on my respect and submission journey since September 1, 2013, and ever since the Lord opened up my spiritual eyes to my sins, I have repented and changed my life 180 degrees. My former world views and concepts, I have disposed of; and in its place, I have embraced and am living out a spiritual and godly world view, wherein I follow and obey God's Order of things.

Colossians 3:18

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

What Dong meant by "modern women thinking they are 'equal' to men", is not about their essence, for we both know and believe that "men and women were created by God into His Image and Likeness" (Gen 1:27), and are therefore EQUAL in standing before God's Eyes. My husband is not a sexist and would be the first to denounce inequality in dignity! The 'equality' he was referring to, was about the God-ordained roles and our God-given masculinity and femininity. Women (and even men) have bought into the lies of the evil one through feminism, that both sexes are interchangeable or androgynous; that it does not matter whether you are male or female; and that you can do everything in spite of (or sometimes to spite!) your God-given sex/gender.  

Maybe this article can explain it far clearer than I could. :)

'The differences in the characters of man and woman have their roots in creation. Man is made by God; woman is made by God from man.
As God is present at the creation of the world, so man is present, though in ecstasy, at the creation of the woman. The immediacy and the mediacy of the origin of the two sexes are mirrored forth in their differences.

Man, coming directly from God, has initiative, power and origin. Woman, coming from God through the ecstasy of man, has intuition, response, acceptance, submission, and cooperation.

Man lives more in the external world, because made from the earth and closest to it; it is his mission to rule over it and subject it. Woman lives more in the internal world, because she was created from an inner, human life.

Man is more interested in the outer world; woman in the inner world. Man talks about things; woman more about persons. Man fashions products of the earth; woman fashions life, having come from life, both Divine and human. Man, more related to the earth, makes sacrifices for things that are in the future and are abstract; woman, more related to the human, is more inclined to make sacrifices for persons and for that which is immediate.

Because more objective, man is inclined to give reasons for what he loves and for what he does; woman, being more subjective and having been issued from the human, is more inclined to love just for love's sake. Man's reasons for loving are because of the qualities and attributes of the beloved. Man builds, invents, conquers; woman tends, devotes, interiorizes.

The man gives; the woman is a gift.'

-An excerpt from Three to Get Married, by Archbishop Fulton Sheen

1998 boyfriend-girlfriend days
As my boyfriend of seven years and husband of ten years, Dong knows fully well that I am:
very independent, very self-sufficient, very self-reliant, very take-charge and very capable of fulfilling "my" dreams, without his help, his approval or say. 

So, a statement like the one I mentioned above, coming from him is HUGE.
I cannot overemphasize this fact.

I am, and have been, since God changed me, a biblically submissive wife.

But I used to be a "modern woman" who thought that she was better than her husband and that she could take on the leadership role in the family. I believed in the lies of the devil about the "equality" of men and women and ended up bitter, angry and depressed. I felt so unfeminine and so masculated!!! I hated it! I was so miserable!

Dong shared with me just two months back during one of our many discussions on this topic and on God, that his dream wife was actually a 
submissive wife.


Why did I never hear about this "dream" of his at the start of our marriage?

He said that he felt that it was the "ideal", but it was not in his personality nor morals to impose it on me. He was a big follower of the Golden Rule. He did not want for me to impose on him, how he should act/be (although I came pretty close to nearly emasculating him with my condescending and controlling behavior back then :( ), so why should he do that towards me? Also, if he told me about it, would I have followed, given my controlling and hyper personality?!?

I guess, if he said that it was his kind of "dream girl", I would have given it a bit of thought. Just a bit, because back in the day, even with three kids, I was really so bent on making a name for myself in order to "matter" to the world. I was so blind to the fact that I mattered simply because I was a child of God and that I mattered simply because I was my husband's wife and our children's mother.
A collage made by a fan depicting my uber busy career life! - 2012

Anyway, going back to the "stupid" comment, he further said,

"To the modern woman, being submissive is likening herself to a slave. I mean, why would she put herself under her husband's authority? Why would she not pursue her career? Why would she "just" be a wife and mother? It does not make sense and it is not practical (at least from the world's point of view)...."

I have often been told ever since I gave up my career to follow God's Calling for me to stay at home, that I was "sayang." In English, that my many talents were "wasted" by "just" being a wife and mother.

I usually took offense to this, but Dong lovingly pointed out to me that what others usually meant by this was that people just "highly looked up to me and my capabilities", which didn't appease me one bit. :P

But, I ask you, are any of my God-given gifts really "wasted" in my home or in my new life with Christ?

SINGING/NEWSCASTING - I sing with the kids. I teach them songs. I tutor them in their studies. I use my voice to tell stories that interest them. I talk to them about God all the time.
      - I sing songs for God as part of the Music Ministry in our adopted parish church.

RADIO ANNOUNCING - Instead of listening to the news which I was a big fan of before, I no longer listen to the news, while still trying to keep abreast with current events, lest I become too apathetic. However, majority of my time is spent reading God's Word and spreading His Word via this blog and through my ministry of helping wives who have troubles in their marriages. I announce God to them. Unlike the world's news, the Good News is ALWAYS GOOD! :)

I can go on and on, but it feels like self-aggrandizement, so I will stop right here. You do get my drift. ;)

* * * * * * * *

Nothing is ever WASTED in God's Eyes, especially if His children live their lives according to His Purposes for them. Much is WASTED when we live our lives, independent of God, seeking only "our" wills, "our" self-fulfillment, "our" glories.

I do not judge or condemn wives who are working. Let me be very clear on that. In this day and age, times are hard, and more often than not, it really is a necessity, especially in  a third world country such as the Philippines. 
My former career woman life - 2011


If you are working to have a "career" and to "have it all", dear sister, believe me you, you will never have it all, nor will you ever be happy. Juggling all those responsibilities atop being a wife and mother, is exhausting.

  And I speak from a place of experience, when I say that most often than not, it is your home life that will suffer, and not your job.

You will be giving the best of yourself to your boss and to your career and to pleasing everyone but your husband. You will be giving your best energies to the workplace and to projects, while leaving no time nor patience for the little ones.

I challenge you, fellow wives, with the same career-orientedness I used to possess. Think about your life right now. Are you really, truly happy? Are your priorities set aright? Is all the time away from home worth it? Is not seeing the kids grow up right before your very eyes worth it? Is being physically and sometimes emotionally, sexually and spiritually disconnected from your husband worth it?

We only have a very limited time on this side of heaven.

Spend it with those who matter the most. Your capabilities won't be "wasted" on attending to your husband as his help meet, or to your children as their nurturer. Be the most supportive helper to your husband. He needs all of you! Mold the children's impressionable minds and teach them about God this early. They need their mother. All of her! Not some leftover version of her, from being too tired and spread too thin. Remember, the children grow up too fast! 

Nannies are there to help, not replace you!!!
Nobody can replace Mommy!
Prioritize your kids over your career.
And Filipina mommies, no, it's not okay if they are closer to their yayas (nannies) than they are to you! That's the greatest insult to a mother!

Biblical submission in this day and age may seem STUPID. Staying at home to attend to the children may seem a WASTE of time.... but God, our Creator does not think so. In fact, there is no greater calling than to be a wife and a mother. 
So I urge you, dear sister in Christ, from one wife 
and mother to the next...

                   Come home, wives and mothers. Please, come home!

Proverbs 31:10-30 (parts of it) 

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. ..

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks...
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land...

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 

Biblical submission is NOT stupid. 
It's the wisest decision I have ever done in my entire life. God's Designs are the BEST! I wish that the same joy and peace I am experiencing, be your own joy and peace, dear sister in Christ.
Submit to God.
Submit to your husband.
Experience freedom and unity in marriage. :)

May we all be richly blessed!:)

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