It all started with the controversial author, Debi Pearl's even more controversial book, "Created To Be His Help Meet." This continues to be a hot topic at my mentor's, April Cassidy's, The Peaceful Wife Blog. It's that type of book. You cannot stop talking about it. ;P
I was thinking, we women too were created according to the image and likeness of God...
... so maybe, just maybe, what was applicable to the husbands could be applicable to us wives too!!!!
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
|Cleofe-Alejar Nuptials - April 17, 2004|
These categories that I am about to write are not written by bestselling author, Debi Pearl, nor are they found anywhere in her book, blog or other reading materials. These are just my weak attempts at trying to fit myself into a category as a now submissive wife. In no way was this blog post written to make fun of, override Ms. Pearl's thoughts or steal from Ms. Pearl's wonderful Chapter 8 in the "Created to Be His Help Meet" book. Most of my categories' ideas and info however are borrowed and carried over from the 'Three Types of Men'(pp. 59 to 72) she wrote about in her book. All perceived errors from the transferring of character traits from men to women are mine. This blog post is just for my musing purposes, while allowing you readers to muse with me. Hope that it will be a fun read :)
She has political plans on being the first woman U.S. President.
She used her position for the purpose of saving her own people.
Her God-Given Traits:
- And so, if the godly Command Wife is able to acquiesce her commanding role and accept her supportive role, she can use her very strong personality (bridled strength) to empower her husband's leadership. Her Command Husband will no longer fight for headship with her and will therefore have more confidence in his leadership as he no longer views his wife as a threat but as his ally.
- The Visionary Husband will delight in sharing with her his dreams and visions and will encourage her to join him in his agendas and causes.
- The Steady Husband, finding his voice (and balls!) again, will man up to the challenge and will start becoming more proactive instead of passive.
She has conducted more than 40 field visits around the world, becoming well-versed in the
phenomenon of forced displacement and a tireless advocate on their behalf.
According to that Gospel, she was an aged Jewish woman who prophesied about Jesus at the Temple of Jerusalem.
She appears in Luke 2:36–38 during the presentation of Jesus at the Temple.
- The Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with her words, music, writing, voice, or actions. She is the “voice…crying in the wilderness”... striving to change the way humanity is behaving or thinking.
- Over time, she will be more practical. If people think you are weird, maybe you are a Visionary!
(Wait a minute, maybe I am a Visionary Wife too!!!! )
- Her Command Husband will be empowered by her zest for a godly marriage and who knows, he might decide to support (or ask his subordinates to do so) his wife's worthy cause of feeding the hungry children of Africa .
- Her Visionary Husband will enjoy having her in for the "ride" as he tackles his own projects without the fear of clashing with or lack of support from his wife. He might even take the lead (as she gives her own inputs and contributions) in his wife's pet causes.
- The Steady Husband will benefit most from having his godly Visionary wife boost his morale because of her enthusiasm for him and their family. His stick-in-the-mud nature will get a much desired/needed adrenalin rush from having an adventurous and high-spirited Visionary wife.
Though she became the country's (hesitant) 11th president when Ninoy Aquino was assassinated,
because of her gentle demeanor and soft-spoken voice, the whole country fondly called her "Tita Cory" or Aunt Cory,
over the more formal "President Cory" or "President Aquino".
She unabashedly considered herself even while already the Philippine President, a "plain housewife."
The key to Mary’s openness to God was her humility. Mama Mary was humble because she knew that God the Almighty wanted to do “great things” (Luke 1:49) in her, not by her own power, but by the working of his power — not by her wisdom, but according to the wisdom of his plans and purposes.
"Don't mind me. Pretend I am not here."
- Among the three types, Mrs. Steady is the most likely to have no qualms about being a stay-at-home mom or a housewife because of her very "grounded" personality.
- Since she is not prone towards being "overly ambitious" like Mrs. Command Woman nor "too idealistic" like Mrs. Visionary Woman, Mrs. Steady, who is content in staying in the background, is the wife most likely to give up her job/career in order to support her husband's plans which may/may not include homeschooling the children or attending to them fully.
- She makes well thought-out decisions (It may take time, like a LOT of weeks kind of time) but it's usually wise and of course, never rash.
- She never puts undue pressure on people to perform miracles. She does not expect her husband to serve her. She does not create much tension wherever she may be, and when you are with her, you will rarely feel hurried, pressured, pushed or forced.
- One of her perceived "weaknesses" is the lack of pressure or "expectations" from her husband or the family. Without expectations, goals and new mountains to climb, everything is so-so, day-in and day-out. However, this can also be a perceived strength to those who love having a non-exciting, mundane, steady, predictable life. (Hey, I am somewhat this Missus too! I am a super homebody, I risk having cabin fever ;) )
- Among the three types, the Mrs. Steady is probably the type who has the tendency to become a "doormat", if she is not assertive enough.
- Because if she is married to Mr. Command Man, her easy-going nature will make it easy for her husband to lead her because she'd be more than happy to follow. She is so "lead-able".
- If she were married to a fellow Mr. Steady, her lack of expectations on her husband will allow him to lead more daringly since he is given a lot of leeway, and she would be more than happy to support him on whatever path he chooses.
If Mrs. Steady was also Mrs. Lazy, then nothing much gets done and she won't be an effective help meet to her husband and won't be instrumental to his success. She will be too laid-back and apathetic to really "care."
- The Command Man who expects to be served will not be served.
- The Visionary Man who expects to have an ally for his brilliant ideas will not have anybody cheering him on.
- And even the usually cool Mr. Steady Man will not find satisfaction in having her as a partner in life. He is already laid-back, but lazy is waaaay more than just being easy-going. It is sloth meets apathy.
- A godly Steady Woman likes having to walk beside her man, as her husband grows in his own right before God and her.
- She brings peace and safety to her husband's soul. Her gentleness is not a sign of weakness but of bridled strength. Her hesitation is not indecision; it is cautious wisdom.
- Since she is content to just stay in the background, Mrs. Steady must learn the perfect balance of being quiet as opposed to losing her voice. For her to be an active help meet, she must bring all of her good virtues to her marriage and not be afraid to speak her mind, albeit respectfully.
- Mrs. Steady should not confuse biblical submission with being a doormat or not having any say, in anything. Remember, doormats do not glorify God either!
3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
A godly, biblically submissive woman also has to be familiar with Proverbs 31, to be an active help meet to her husband -- whether Command, Visionary or Steady. The Proverbs 31 woman is the ultimate "peg" as far as biblical womanhood is concerned.
"Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value." (Prov 31:11)
So, regardless of personality type -- whether you are the strong command woman, the idealistic visionary woman or the laid-back steady woman...
YOU are called to:
respect and submit to one's husband (as unto the Lord), so as not to malign the Word of God.
Biblical Submission does not make us renounce or dispose of our God-given talents. That would dishonor God!
Biblical submission encourages us wives, to use our God-given capabilities to empower our husbands' leadership, as we fulfill our own God-given roles as help meets to them. We are instrumental to the fulfillment of our husbands' God-ordained callings and roles.
We bring into our marriages our commanding personalities, or idealistic tendencies, or our steadfastness... and temper them accordingly, based on the type of man the Lord had given us to be our partners in life (Mr. Command Man, Mr. Visionary, Mr. Steady).
We die to ourselves daily, in order to conform ourselves more to Jesus. There is no perfect personality or temperament, for we will only be made perfect in heaven. But, and while we are still here on earth, we will do our best (with Christ strengthening us), to be the "perfect" help meets to our imperfect husbands, given our human limitations and imperfections.
A transformed life lived in obedience to God's Word, and lived out genuinely in front of one's husband (and others) is the most powerful witnessing a woman can do for God.
1 Peter 3:1-6
May we all be richly blessed! :)