I would put a certain precept that still needed clarity at the back of my mind for future introspection, only for it to suddenly manifest itself and be elucidated by others without warrant! And then, without me forcing it, it suddenly makes sense.
I just immediately "get it"! And I am blown away. :)
Ephesians 5: 22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
After letting go of my control freak nature and wearing the new one given to me by Christ which was a joyful, peaceful and worry-free nature (2 Cor 5:17), I felt for the first time in my life, really free. :) I knew God was in control. Sigh. I can now rest in His Loving Arms....
"Why am I stressed? Well I could say because my husband works 12+ hours a day, 6 days a week and I only see him 30 mins a day, and on his day off he just sleeps and he is grouchy all the time; or because I have a much needed surgery scheduled for May 6 and still haven’t heard if my insurance will cover the surgeon, But, that wouldn’t be true…
I am stressed because I want to control these things and I can’t.
I am thankful to say that the last few days and with the help of your story, Nikka, I figured out many things and I feel better....
What hit me was I am trying to get closer to God. I am trying to be a good wife. BUT, I am not learning to control me! Being a person that likes to control, I need to learn to control my responses. I need to make my own life right now during this season. I had been reading Joyce Meyers' book on controlling emotions and she laid it all out and I finally got it.
There is so much power in controlling one's emotions. Not controlling them zaps all strength. ( I am a poster child for that!)I can’t get closer to God or be respectful if I can’t even control me."
I really like to control... I just needed to find a way to do it the right way.
I need to control my overwhelming emotions before anything else can fall into place.
So for me the order needed to be…
1. Control my hurt, anger, responses and thoughts.
2. Draw closer to God to meet my needs.
3. Respect my husband.
1.Try to be the perfect wife and respect my husband.
2.Try to be closer to God.
3.Hope God can fix my emotionally messed head and actions.
Seems like God should be first, right?
but He plainly showed me that
He can’t be first until I get some of the junk out and make room for Him."
- I wrote that particular post...
- And she got convicted by it.
- She shared with me about her lightbulb moment...
- And in turn, I got convicted by her response!
The "inspirer" became the inspired!!!
It's like the gift that keeps on giving!!! :)
Here was my own AHA! moment to her eye-opening sharing:
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.
to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.