"Biblical Submission in this Day and Age is STUPID."

"Biblical submission in this day and age is STUPID to the modern (feminist) woman because the present setup says that men and women are "equal" in all things; or worse than that, that women are "better" than men, but they don't know the Wisdom behind God's Plan for men and women, especially within marriage.",

 is the complete thought that my husband Dong shared with me, over a cup of coffee, while waiting to pick up the kids from school. Gotcha on that one, huh? ;)

Let me reiterate that I have been on my respect and submission journey since September 1, 2013, and ever since the Lord opened up my spiritual eyes to my sins, I have repented and changed my life 180 degrees. My former world views and concepts, I have disposed of; and in its place, I have embraced and am living out a spiritual and godly world view, wherein I follow and obey God's Order of things.

Colossians 3:18

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

What Dong meant by "modern women thinking they are 'equal' to men", is not about their essence, for we both know and believe that "men and women were created by God into His Image and Likeness" (Gen 1:27), and are therefore EQUAL in standing before God's Eyes. My husband is not a sexist and would be the first to denounce inequality in dignity! The 'equality' he was referring to, was about the God-ordained roles and our God-given masculinity and femininity. Women (and even men) have bought into the lies of the evil one through feminism, that both sexes are interchangeable or androgynous; that it does not matter whether you are male or female; and that you can do everything in spite of (or sometimes to spite!) your God-given sex/gender.  

Maybe this article can explain it far clearer than I could. :)

'The differences in the characters of man and woman have their roots in creation. Man is made by God; woman is made by God from man.

As God is present at the creation of the world, so man is present, though in ecstasy, at the creation of the woman. The immediacy and the mediacy of the origin of the two sexes are mirrored forth in their differences.

Man, coming directly from God, has initiative, power and origin. Woman, coming from God through the ecstasy of man, has intuition, response, acceptance, submission, and cooperation.

Man lives more in the external world, because made from the earth and closest to it; it is his mission to rule over it and subject it. Woman lives more in the internal world, because she was created from an inner, human life.

Man is more interested in the outer world; woman in the inner world. Man talks about things; woman more about persons. Man fashions products of the earth; woman fashions life, having come from life, both Divine and human. Man, more related to the earth, makes sacrifices for things that are in the future and are abstract; woman, more related to the human, is more inclined to make sacrifices for persons and for that which is immediate.

Because more objective, man is inclined to give reasons for what he loves and for what he does; woman, being more subjective and having been issued from the human, is more inclined to love just for love's sake. Man's reasons for loving are because of the qualities and attributes of the beloved. Man builds, invents, conquers; woman tends, devotes, interiorizes.

The man gives; the woman is a gift.'

-An excerpt from Three to Get Married, by Archbishop Fulton Sheen

______________________________________________________________________________

1998 boyfriend-girlfriend days

As my boyfriend of seven years and husband of ten years, Dong knows fully well that I am:
very independent, very self-sufficient, very self-reliant, very take-charge and very capable of fulfilling "my" dreams, without his help, his approval or say. 

So, a statement like the one I mentioned above, coming from him is HUGE.
I cannot overemphasize this fact.

I am, and have been, since God changed me, a biblically submissive wife.

But I used to be a "modern woman" who thought that she was better than her husband and that she could take on the leadership role in the family. I believed in the lies of the devil about the "equality" of men and women and ended up bitter, angry and depressed. I felt so unfeminine and so masculated!!! I hated it! I was so miserable!

Dong shared with me just two months back during one of our many discussions on this topic and on God, that his dream wife was actually a 
submissive wife.

HUWAT?!?

Why did I never hear about this "dream" of his at the start of our marriage?

He said that he felt that it was the "ideal", but it was not in his personality nor morals to impose it on me. He was a big follower of the Golden Rule. He did not want for me to impose on him, how he should act/be (although I came pretty close to nearly emasculating him with my condescending and controlling behavior back then :( ), so why should he do that towards me? Also, if he told me about it, would I have followed, given my controlling and hyper personality?!?

I guess, if he said that it was his kind of "dream girl", I would have given it a bit of thought. Just a bit, because back in the day, even with three kids, I was really so bent on making a name for myself in order to "matter" to the world. I was so blind to the fact that I mattered simply because I was a child of God and that I mattered simply because I was my husband's wife and our children's mother.

A collage made by a fan depicting my uber busy career life! - 2012

Anyway, going back to the "stupid" comment, he further said,

"To the modern woman, being submissive is likening herself to a slave. I mean, why would she put herself under her husband's authority? Why would she not pursue her career? Why would she "just" be a wife and mother? It does not make sense and it is not practical (at least from the world's point of view)...."

I have often been told ever since I gave up my career to follow God's Calling for me to stay at home, that I was "sayang." In English, that my many talents were "wasted" by "just" being a wife and mother.

I usually took offense to this, but Dong lovingly pointed out to me that what others usually meant by this was that people just "highly looked up to me and my capabilities", which didn't appease me one bit. :P

But, I ask you, are any of my God-given gifts really "wasted" in my home or in my new life with Christ?

SINGING/NEWSCASTING - I sing with the kids. I teach them songs. I tutor them in their studies. I use my voice to tell stories that interest them. I talk to them about God all the time.

      - I sing songs for God as part of the Music Ministry in our adopted parish church.

RADIO ANNOUNCING - Instead of listening to the news which I was a big fan of before, I no longer listen to the news, while still trying to keep abreast with current events, lest I become too apathetic. However, majority of my time is spent reading God's Word and spreading His Word via this blog and through my ministry of helping wives who have troubles in their marriages. I announce God to them. Unlike the world's news, the Good News is ALWAYS GOOD! :)

I can go on and on, but it feels like self-aggrandizement, so I will stop right here. You do get my drift. ;)

* * * * * * * *

Nothing is ever WASTED in God's Eyes, especially if His children live their lives according to His Purposes for them. Much is WASTED when we live our lives, independent of God, seeking only "our" wills, "our" self-fulfillment, "our" glories.

I do not judge or condemn wives who are working. Let me be very clear on that. In this day and age, times are hard, and more often than not, it really is a necessity, especially in  a third world country such as the Philippines. 

My former career woman life - 2011

BUT...

If you are working to have a "career" and to "have it all", dear sister, believe me you, you will never have it all, nor will you ever be happy. Juggling all those responsibilities atop being a wife and mother, is exhausting.

  And I speak from a place of experience, when I say that most often than not, it is your home life that will suffer, and not your job.

You will be giving the best of yourself to your boss and to your career and to pleasing everyone but your husband. You will be giving your best energies to the workplace and to projects, while leaving no time nor patience for the little ones.

I challenge you, fellow wives, with the same career-orientedness I used to possess. Think about your life right now. Are you really, truly happy? Are your priorities set aright? Is all the time away from home worth it? Is not seeing the kids grow up right before your very eyes worth it? Is being physically and sometimes emotionally, sexually and spiritually disconnected from your husband worth it?

We only have a very limited time on this side of heaven.

Spend it with those who matter the most. Your capabilities won't be "wasted" on attending to your husband as his help meet, or to your children as their nurturer. Be the most supportive helper to your husband. He needs all of you! Mold the children's impressionable minds and teach them about God this early. They need their mother. All of her! Not some leftover version of her, from being too tired and spread too thin. Remember, the children grow up too fast! 

Nannies are there to help, not replace you!!!

Nobody can replace Mommy!
Prioritize your kids over your career.

And Filipina mommies, no, it's not okay if they are closer to their yayas (nannies) than they are to you! That's the greatest insult to a mother!

Biblical submission in this day and age may seem STUPID. Staying at home to attend to the children may seem a WASTE of time.... but God, our Creator does not think so. In fact, there is no greater calling than to be a wife and a mother. 

So I urge you, dear sister in Christ, from one wife 
and mother to the next...

                   Come home, wives and mothers. Please, come home!

Proverbs 31:10-30 (parts of it) 

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. ..

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks...
Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land...

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.  She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.  

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  

"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 

Biblical submission is NOT stupid. 
It's the wisest decision I have ever done in my entire life. God's Designs are the BEST! I wish that the same joy and peace I am experiencing, be your own joy and peace, dear sister in Christ.
Submit to God.
Submit to your husband.

Experience freedom and unity in marriage. :)

May we all be richly blessed!:)

What? Me? "Just" A Housewife and Mother?!?

A housewife and mother to 4 kids -- my fulltime career now. :) 

If anybody told me 10 or 15 years ago, that I would become "just' a housewife and mother in 2014, 

I would have done any one of the following:

-  taken offense for thinking of me so "lowly"

- argued with that person saying, "These are not the ancient times, you know!

 Women are empowered and can take on any job and career!"

- opened my mouth in "horror" over the thought of "not achieving" anything in my life

- gotten disappointed with the "waste" of my talents and capabilities

- and so much more...

Why, you say?

Allow me to explain by giving you a brief history of how I was raised. Most of the time, how we think and behave are molded right in the comfort of our own homes as children, in the presence of two people we hold in high esteem: our parents.

Before I begin, allow me to say that in sharing some 'negative' aspects about my deceased parents, I mean no harm and no foul. I do not desire to malign them. They raised me and my sister in the best way they knew how, and judging from how we turned out : as God-fearing and responsible individuals, their parenting was not in vain. However, to arrive at a complete picture of why I was the way I was, or why I thought the way I did, I do need to share about some aspects in their parenting, that left much room for growth. Mama and Papa were kind and generous people and I am grateful for their love; and I love them both. May they rest in peace.

                                                               For starters...

Thea and Reuben Cleofe

Mama told me:

- that she stepped on Papa's toes literally, after they got married, while still at the altar, as part of her superstitious beliefs (Mama was extremely superstitious and always consulted fortune tellers. :( ) that if she did that, she would never be "under" my father. In short, she did not want to be controlled or be under the rightful leadership of her husband. She also tried to outwalk Papa by moving faster than him, for the same reason previously mentioned -- She didn't want to submit to anybody!

- to NEVER trust anybody.

- to NEVER tell my parents if my future husband and I ever got into an argument, because my parents would side with me and hate my spouse way after I have forgiven him. (Weird, I know. She was my parent!)

-  to NEVER compete with my husband in career (This was not applicable to my marriage. I was actually frustrated by Dong's being left behind and not being able to keep up with me!)

* * * * * * * *

Papa was a man of few words, but growing up he told me that:

It was always awkward when I was with both of them.
We were used to just being with Mama, but I cherished
it when we were all together. - March 1992

- I was fat and grumpy and that if I continued to be such, no man would ever marry me. (At the age of 12, I became a borderline anorexic. I also suffered from an eating disorder for more than a decade.)

- If I were to marry, I had to marry somebody intelligent, because if I didn't, my gene pool would suffer. (Papa gave high regard to intelligence and usually judged/respected people based on their intelligence.)

- I should stop singing songs that had high notes because I would not be able to reach them. 

- My cooking was not good, and if he could not "name" it, he would not eat it.

- To always aim for the best. If I did not study and still got a so-so mark, what more if I studied? I would get a perfect score!

* * * * * * * * * * 

Seeing their relationship too which was:

April  1975

- not touchy

- not prone to sweet gestures, with nary a kiss on the cheek!

- not conversant with each other

- super serious at home but super jolly with their separate friends/office mates

- strained and seemingly unhappy

...add to that, their extreme career-orientedness (We were left to nearly be raised alone by our live-in yaya/nanny, Sepa while they went about their own lives and busy careers -- Hers, as a TV executive. His, as a corporate legal counsel.)...

Our nanny, Josefa or "Sepa" took care of us from 1973 to 1993.

.... I was pretty much led to believe that once I got married:

- I should be my own woman and not have any need for a man. (Mama)

- I should live my life independently of my husband, and to each his/her own. (Mama and Papa)

- I should focus on my career and just hire a nanny who can look after my children. (Mama and Papa)

- I should try to do my best in everything because if I did, I would matter and be worthy of love and attention (distorted understanding of the teachings of Papa -- He was a great provider but I was always hungry for his attention and love. Much was to be desired with regards to his emotional availability.)

- I could have it all and should not stop till I had it all (distorted understanding of the teachings of Mama)

- pursue all my dreams (Mama -- She was a great traveler and would leave us months on end, which traumatized me as a child. :( )

- etc. etc.

Newscast January 2013, a week before I resigned for good andleft broadcasting.

Understand, that what they taught me and how I may have accepted or absorbed their teachings, may be two different things. But, to a young, impressionable girl, that was how I took their teachings to heart.

___________________________________________________

I also suffered from:

14 years old and depressed

- very low self-esteem which "I" raised by overachieving, overcompensating for my flaws and trying to be 'perfect'
- suicidal tendencies from feeling so worthless every.single.day.
- an eating disorder that ate up (pun intended) all of my thinking moments ("Am I fat?", "I should not eat this! It will make me gain pounds!", "I am so fat and ugly. I deserve to die!")
- a constant need for reassurance that I was okay, that I was pretty, that I was sexy...
- a deep desire to make a name for myself and be famous (and when I did not get jobs I applied for which I felt would make me achieve my goal of becoming a household name, I got depressed and blamed God.)
- debilitating depression which could last for months on end, with thoughts of gloom, death and despair 24/7
- the tiring habit of always comparing myself with others and finding myself  always coming up short when compared to them, which started the cycle of depression all over again! :(

But, deep down inside... I knew that I wanted to come out of those bondages. I knew that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I just did not know how to get out of my cage or when I would ever see that light! I felt so forsaken and hopeless! I created this cage for myself with the key thrown out! How or when would I ever be saved?!?!

But, God does show His Mercy to a repentant sinner...

Psalm 51:17

17 

My sacrifice, O God, is[a] a broken spirit;

    a broken and contrite heart

    you, God, will not despise.

GOD HAD THE KEY!

JESUS CHRIST WAS THE KEY!

JESUS IS MY LORD AND SAVIOR!!!! 

Isabelle, our "unwanted" child. How could I ever not want her?!? :(

And so when I was at the end of my rope in 2013...

- from having a fourth (initially "unwanted") child

- resigning from my job

- being chastised for my Catholic faith

- getting into a rift with a close family member

- selling the only property left by my deceased parents

- being tired of the constant worries and fears...

God FOUND me. I FOUND Him.

And life has never been the same! :)

If anybody told me that at this time of my life, I would be:

Already biblically submissive - Nov 2013

- career-less

- a stay at home mother; and

- a full-time housewife

I would have said 10 to 15 years ago, "NO WAY! How could that make me matter in anybody's eyes? That's waaaaaaay boring!"

Which reminds me....

 I remember telling Dong during one of my lowest moments in 2011 (when I was still leading the family and being so controlling towards my husband -- my lowest year, I believe), that I felt that I did not matter, he said: "You matter... To me. To us. To your kids." I remember looking at him oddly, and not appreciating the wisdom in those words, I said: "Okay. But I need to MATTER to the world!"

I was so spiritually blind then. :(

But the Lord had opened my eyes and my heart now. I am no longer blind! Halleluiah! I can now see!!! I now know that I have been deceived by the enemy for so long. That I have turned to the world to assure me of my worth, when I should have just turned to Jesus, to know that I am worthy... not for anything I have done or still need to do, but simply because He died for me. I am the daughter of a King!

Pregnant with our 4th - Jan 2013

Satan can taunt me all he wants now but I have won the battle against depression, feelings of worthlessness, obsession with career, people-pleasing tendencies,  my eating disorder, my desire to control my life and my husband, and so much more.... because Christ has strengthened me, and continues to strengthen me!!! Not only that, He has also released me from all my bondages, when I decided on September 1, 2013 to let go and let God and put at the foot of Jesus' Cross, ALL my:

-worries

-fears

-anxieties

-dreams

-goals

-ambitions and

-selfish desires 

I now rest in God's Sovereignty. He is God; I am not. He is already in the future; I can only be here in the present. He is in control; I am not, but I can practice self-control. All He requires of me is to trust in Him, have faith in Him and leave it all in His Hands, because He loves me. He holds my life in His Hands. I am protected. I am safe. I am free. :)

And now, as my husband's helper and the full-time mother to our four children, I can honestly say, from the top of my lungs, that I am not just a housewife and mother. 

My loving husband to whom I have submitted
in everything, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22- 33)-- Dong
March 2014 

I am a housewife and a mother -- the greatest calling God can give to a woman like me! :)

Titus 2:3-5

3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

If anybody told me I would be the Nikka that I am now -- peaceful, free of worries, joyful, enjoying obscurity, loving modesty, and being gentle and quiet-- I would not believe that person!!! No freaking way! Nikka?!? Are we talking about the go-getter, spread-too-thin, fashionable, vain, eternally worried (of the future and of cancer), and talkative Nikka?!? That doesn't sound like her at all!

But, God has changed me. And I would rather die than to go back to my former worldly self again.

2 Corinthians 5:17 

Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: 

old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

A sister in Christ quoted this beautiful line which says,

"The greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."

In our new home - August 2013

What? Me? A housewife and a stay-at-home mother?!? 
Yes. I am.
Do you have a problem with that? I don't. :)

 Praise be to God! His Wisdom is truly glorious.

I love Him so. :)

May we all be richly blessed! :)

A Closer Look at Sarah as Abraham's Wife -- Imperfect and Feisty, but also Submissive and Godly

The beautiful and feisty yet submissive and meek Sarah. (I thought she was putting up her fingers in the 'PEACE' sign! Ha!)

                                                                   1 Peter 3:5-6

5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I begin this post with this Bible verse that shows Saint Peter praising Sarah, "who obeyed Abraham and called him lord", in her submission to him.

Lord here is not LORD, as in LORD GOD. Lord is the one with a small letter "l" that in present times roughly translated, just means "my dear husband". This title of respect also meant that she considered Abraham as her head or "master", to whom she must submit. 

Let me reiterate for those reading the Peaceful Wife Philippines blog for the first time, that I am a Catholic Christian, who only very recently was converted by our Lord after I let go and let God on September 1, 2013. By conversion I do not mean, I changed religions. The Lord called me and found me as a Catholic, and He made me "born again" ("The old has gone, the new is here!" - 2 Cor 5:17), while still remaining as one. The difference is that, I am now a real Christian. :) I am a true follower of Christ, not just a Cultural Catholic. Roman Catholicism aside, I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and as such, I long to obey His Commandments and want to be more and more conformed to Him, day after day. Since then, the Lord has instilled in my heart and soul an urgent and deep desire to read His Word. I have been devouring the Bible with a hunger and thirst I have never experienced, before my conviction and conversion. I now spend hours studying and reading It every day. Not by my own 'goodness' and 'piety', though! Only by God's Grace. I have in my heart a yearning that is God-inspired. Just very recently, after months of studying the New Testament and after highlighting important and pertinent passages in it, the Lord led me into reading the Old Testament... 

The characters in the Old Testament were larger than life and awe-inspiring! Yahweh seemed to be always speaking to His People through prophets, dreams and angels, and on some wonderful occasions, even "appeared" personally to talk to them! How jealous I felt about the people of old! God was really speaking to them, in the Flesh! As in, through conversations and all that. Wow! But then, I remembered that Jesus was God Incarnate, and that He Himself said, "Blessed are they who believe, but do not see", (John 20:29), and immediately, I felt that there was no need to be jealous. I do believe even if I haven't seen God Himself, and so I am most blessed! :)

I am getting off-topic here. :)

The Lord inspired me to write today about Sarai or Sarah, the barren wife of Abraham, who was considered a model of submission, as per Saint Peter. Reading about her, I was expecting to read about all meekness and servitude and quietude. I was surprised that though she did exhibit those traits, she was not all that meek or quiet, at all! She was in fact, a bit feisty, when one got on her nerves! 

It just goes to show that SUBMISSIVENESS does NOT mean losing one's voice or one's character.

We know as early as Genesis 11:30 that "...Sarai was barren; she had no children." 

This barrenness brought out despair and impatience in Sarai, which is quite understandable. She was already 65 years old, and still childless! But Yahweh did promise Abraham that he would be the Father of many nations, which made her situation even more pathetic. They were not producing any offspring! How could her husband father many nations, if they cannot even produce one child?!?

________________________________________________________________________________

On two separate occasions, Sarah even seemed to have 'ordered' Abraham around!

'Bossy' Sarai Incident Number 1:

 Sarai got impatient waiting for the Lord to make her pregnant.

Sarah told Abraham to impregnate her maidservant, Hagar, since they were not
becoming pregnant. She resented her decision though.

Genesis 16:2

2 so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.”

Abram agreed to what Sarai said.

* * *

'Bossy' Sarah Incident Number 2:

Sarah got irritated with her maidservant (Hagar) and 
(Abraham's son with her ) Ishmael.

Hagar, (Sarah's maidservant) with Ishmael, (Abraham's son with Hagar).
Sarah wanted them both out of her sight!

Genesis 21:8-13

8The child (Isaac) grew and was weaned, and on the day Isaac was weaned Abraham held a great feast. 9But Sarah saw that the son whom Hagar the Egyptian had borne to Abraham was mocking, 10and she said to Abraham, “Get rid of that slave woman and her son, for that woman’s son will never share in the inheritance with my son Isaac.” 11The matter distressed Abraham greatly because it concerned his son. 12But God said to him, “Do not be so distressed about the boy and your slave woman. Listen to whatever Sarah tells you, because it is through Isaac that your offspring^b will be reckoned. 13I will make the son of the slave into a nation also, because he is your offspring.”

In the first instance, it was Sarai herself who thought of the idea to give her slave, Hagar, to Abraham as his concubine, because she was already too impatient from being childless for too long. Abraham agreed. No contentions. No ifs, no buts. He did as Sarai told him to, and that union did bring him an offspring: Ishmael.

In the second instance, Sarah (God changed her name in Genesis 17:15 from Sarai to Sarah.) told Abraham to get rid of the slave woman and her son. The same woman, whom she 'gave' to Abraham to impregnate because she herself could not conceive a descendant at that time! She was acting a bit feisty and too touchy, don't you think? But not only did Abraham obey her order, God also told Abraham to "listen to whatever Sarah tells you."

Sarai/Sarah's actions (no matter how rough they may seem) were done with God's Will for them, still in her mind -- that of having a son from Abraham's seed and God's Promise in making Abraham the 'Father of Many Nations'. She wanted this to come to fulfillment. Her means of making it happen though was a bit faulty. For sure, God purified her intentions despite her frailties and errors in judgment, for she was truly seeking the Lord's Will in their lives. This "bossy" attitude was however the exception, rather than the rule. Remember, Abraham uprooted Sarai/Sarah from her family and brought her along to a wild goose chase, following God to wherever he was led. As his wife, Sarai/Sarah followed him wherever their journey and adventure went, without so much as a complaint!

_______________________________________________________________________

This totally puts biblical submission in a totally different light! 

Our ultimate peg/role model of biblical submission, whom Peter rightly singled out even saying that if we followed her example, we would be "her daughters",  was not a mindless doormat! She had a voice and she used it when she felt the need to be heard!

Sarah was also not a sinless and perfect woman. She too had her "crazy" moments. There were times when from being jealous/envious or offended, she was also prone to being overly dramatic. When she got too envious, she even became abusive towards Hagar! Yikes!

Genesis 16:3-6

3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife.                      4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived.

When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”

6 “Your slave is in your hands,” Abram said. “Do with her whatever you think best.” Then Sarai mistreated Hagar; so she fled from her.

* * *

My eyes got bigger and I had to read these passages several times, to see if I was understanding it correctly... 

Sarah, our role model of biblical submission seemed a bit of a shrew! Haha!

After pondering over it though, I realized that this woman, whom Peter highly thought of, enough to warrant being name-dropped in his epistle, was wholly human too -- just like you and me. She had her many moments of weakness too -- just like you and me! With Sarai/Sarah, her sore spot was really her infertility. Then, when she had finally conceived a son at the super ripe old age of 90 (!), what pushed her buttons, was having Ishmael (the son of her slave, Hagar), possibly getting a share of Father Abraham's inheritance! She was very protective of Isaac's personal interests! There was no messing with Mama Sarah!

After reading about her turn-off qualities that depicted her in a negative light, let me now share with you just how much of a great helpmeet Sarah was to her husband, Abraham. From having lived 127 years on this earth (Her death was recorded in Genesis 23.), an emotional outburst (or two or three or more!), was just normal and expected of a mere human being, like she obviously was. For most of her life though, she lived it with godly, wifely submission to Abraham, otherwise God would not have appointed her as the FIRST MATRIARCH (Genesis 17:15-16). God also dispensed certain unfortunate incidents in the households where Sarai/Sarah was housed, in order to protect her from harm.  See the TWO Bible passages with red asterisks * below. God clearly watched over His Servant's wife.

Here are some instances recorded in the Bible that showed how much of a supportive help meet Sarah was to Abraham:

On two separate occasions, one when she was 65, another when she was nearing 90, Abraham had to pass her off as his sister, just so that Pharaoh (1st instance) and later on, Abimelech (2nd instance), would not kill him off to possess her. She was very attractive in their eyes and both wanted her even in her old age! In Filipino, "Ang haba ng hair ni lola!!!" :) (She was really beautiful!)

In both occasions, Sarah did not object to being passed off as her husband's sister even if she risked being violated by these powerful men!!! (Note: The two Bible passages with red asterisks I mentioned above, could be found below. These showed how Yahweh protected Sarai/Sarah.)

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"She is my sister" Incident Number 1:

Genesis 12:10-20 

Abraham asked Sarai to tell Pharaoh that she was his sister, so they would notkill him in order to get her.

10 Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to live there for a while because the famine was severe. 11 As he was about to enter Egypt, he said to his wife Sarai, “I know what a beautiful woman you are. 12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, ‘This is his wife.’ Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you.”

14 When Abram came to Egypt, the Egyptians saw that Sarai was a very beautiful woman. 15 And when Pharaoh’s officials saw her, they praised her to Pharaoh, and she was taken into his palace. 16 He treated Abram well for her sake, and Abram acquired sheep and cattle, male and female donkeys, male and female servants, and camels.

* 17 But the Lord inflicted serious diseases on Pharaoh and his household because of Abram’s wife Sarai. 18 So Pharaoh summoned Abram. “What have you done to me?” he said. “Why didn’t you tell me she was your wife? 19 Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’so that I took her to be my wife? Now then, here is your wife. Take her and go!” 20 Then Pharaoh gave orders about Abram to his men, and they sent him on his way, with his wife and everything he had.

   

"She is my sister" Incident Number 2:

Genesis 20:1-18

Sarah with Abimelech (She was supposed to be 90 here!!!
I wish I will look like that at 90! :)

Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, 2 and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelech king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.

3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream one night and said to him, “You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a married woman.”

4 Now Abimelech had not gone near her, so he said, “Lord, will you destroy an innocent nation? 5 Did he not say to me, ‘She is my sister,’ and didn’t she also say, ‘He is my brother’? I have done this with a clear conscience and clean hands.”

6 Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know you did this with a clear conscience, and so I have kept you from sinning against me. That is why I did not let you touch her. 7 Now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, you may be sure that you and all who belong to you will die.”

8 Early the next morning Abimelech summoned all his officials, and when he told them all that had happened, they were very much afraid. 9 Then Abimelech called Abraham in and said, “What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done.” 10 And Abimelech asked Abraham, “What was your reason for doing this?”

11 Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ 12 Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. 13 And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”

14 Then Abimelech brought sheep and cattle and male and female slaves and gave them to Abraham, and he returned Sarah his wife to him. 15 And Abimelech said, “My land is before you; live wherever you like.”

16 To Sarah he said, “I am giving your brother a thousand shekels[a] of silver. This is to cover the offense against you before all who are with you; you are completely vindicated.”

* 17 Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech, his wife and his female slaves so they could have children again, 18 for the Lord had kept all the women in Abimelek’s household from conceiving because of Abraham’s wife Sarah.

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If that was not submission, I don't know what is!!!

Sarah cooperated with her husband to carry out his wise and sensible plan  to protect their lives and their inheritance (even if it appears odd or foolish to us!), so that God could fulfill His purposes in them. She was, in fact, being a godly wife—doing good and acting with pure conduct. As Abraham’s partner and helper, she was showing her love and respect for him. 

Abraham in so few words asked that she's gotta "trust him on this", and that he's "got her covered", in this passage.

Genesis 20:13

And when God had me wander from my father's household, I said to her,

'This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, "He is my brother."'"

Another notable incident where Sarah shows her submission and respect for Abraham was when the three unexpected visitors suddenly appeared in their home (unknown to them, it was the Lord God and two angels), and Abraham quickly went to Sarah's tent to tell her to fix them some nourishment pronto!

Genesis 18:6

6 So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah. “Quick,” he said, “get three seahs[b] of the finest flour and knead it and bake some bread.”

It was not written that she complained, got irritated by the unexpected guests, or pouted away, because they arrived right "in the heat of the day" when she could have very well been resting. (v.1) She chose to be hospitable instead, and did just what Abraham asked her to do immediately. That takes selflessness and obedience to her beloved!

The whole Abraham-Sarah love affair had only one verse wherein she called him her 'lord' and it was during that time when she overheard the divine visitors telling Abraham that she was to conceive a child and the child would be born at the same time, next year. She laughed at the fearless forecast, both in joy (kilig) and in incredulity (ows?) !

Genesis 18:10-15

The three unexpected visitors of Abraham. It is believed
that one of them is the Lord God Himself.

10 Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. 11 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 12 So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”

Sarah laughed inside.

13 Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’

 14 Is anything too hard for the Lord? 

I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”
15 Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

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Baby Isaac with Mama Sarah. In Hebrew, Isaac
 means "laughter".

Sarah and Abraham did have a child (Isaac), as promised by the Lord, when Sarah was 90 and Abraham was 100! Lola at lolo na! (Grandparents already by their ages!) because as the Lord Himself had said, "Is anything impossible with the Lord?"

Of course the answer to that would be a resounding "NO"!!!!

"So what happened? Abraham believed the promise, but Sarah was dubious. She could not wrap her head around the idea that at this stage of her life she could “have pleasure.” She knew she would never experience the joy of having her own baby, and she probably doubted she could even have pleasure with her husband. I wouldn’t be surprised if they hadn’t had sex in years—her periods had stopped, she was well beyond the age of childbearing, they were both old and worn out, so why bother?

impdfilipinas.blogspot.com

But Abraham laid hold of the promise by faith. I picture him coming to Sarah and saying, “Honey, the Lord Himself promised us a baby. Let’s get it on tonight!” She may have been skeptical, but the fact was she did it—and the rest is history. She honored her husband and expressed her faith in God, however shaky, by doing what it took to conceive the promised child. The idea that Peter may have had Genesis 18 in mind is also supported by the fact that Hebrews commends Sarah’s faith to receive power to conceive:

By faith Sarah herself received power to conceive, even when she was past the age, since she considered Him faithful who had promised” (Heb. 11:11).

If it is true that Peter has in mind the events of Genesis 18, then Sarah is being commended not for going along with her husband in some 'shady' scheme, as a common interpretation of the Peter passage would have us believe, but for submitting to Abraham and doing her part in God’s plan for their lives out of respect for her husband and faith in God.

 This is a model that we can whole-heartedly emulate." 

                                                                                 (Source: Christian Post, Diane Castro)

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Let us all be daughters of Sarah. Let us do what is right and let us not give way to fear.

May we all be richly blessed! :)